It sounds to me like an eating disorder, though I can't diagnose. You are engaging in ED behaviors. It sounds like you spend a lot of time worrying about or thinking about food. If you've struggled with ED's in the past I think its highly likely that you are relapsing into old thinking and behaving. Even if symptoms are new. I suggest questioning the reason for engaging in these behaviors and talking to an ED specialist. If you can take control of the ED now you will be much more successful than waiting until you've lost control. I've found it only gets harder the deeper into it you get. Sending positive thoughts that you will be able to stop and find the support you need.

Hi, Im sorry to hear you are having problems with food and eating and unfortunately these sound serious (as well as familiar from my past). Feeling the need to control, limit and avoid ingesting food are all signs of distress. You mention having had eating disorders in the past and eating disorders do tend to have phases where they "lie dormant" and then when we are stressed, lonely, depressed or sometimes for reasons we cant quite figure out they "erupt" again, sometimes in different forms.

Did you get any treatment or support when you had trouble with eating disorders in the past? If so I suggest getting in touch again with whoever was helping you. If you didnt get treatment in the past I believe its time to begin looking for help. As shaw suggests can you find an ED specialist? You could also look into mental health or eating disorder clinics and support groups in your area? Do you have a doctor or nurse you can communicate with? And do you have any friends to support you or are you going it alone? No-one can make things change overnight but I hope you can get support with the other problems that I suspect are going on in your life as well as with getting nourishment and guidance back to healthy eating.