Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
Hi everyone,
I'm new to the group and hoping to have a safe space to talk about my daily struggles with my weight and body issues. I don't have a diagnosed eating disorder, but I definitely struggle with severe obsession and actions with my weight. In high school, I didn't eat for weeks because I wanted to lose weight and was sick of feeling like the "fat friend". Barely anyone noticed I wasn't eating, until my boyfriend at the time made me eat a chip and I almost threw up. Then all he did was yell at me.
Now, I am almost 40, divorced, 2 great kids, a loving and amazing man in my life, and I hate my body more than ever. I have an obscene amount of self-hatred towards my body and the dialog that goes on every day in my head is ugly. I'm to the point now where I loathe being in my body and have started entertaining the thought of not eating, or eating minimally, to lose weight.
The issue I have had with losing weight is that I become obsessive, almost immediately. Counting calories, counting points, it is ALL I focus. What I will plan for my next mean, avoiding any and all temptation. If I DO give in and have a cookie or something, I berate myself and punish myself the next day. It is ALL consuming, all the time.
My boyfriend loves me the way I am. He is muscular and goes to the gym almost every day. He never asks me to go or wants me to go, but it somehow makes me MORE self-conscious. But yet, him loving me as I am, makes me feel better when I'm with him.
It is such a twisted roller coaster I am going through. I need to work through it in order to get better and have a healthy relationship with my body again.
Anyone have any similar experiences? Definitely looking for friends to compare notes with and talk to :)
Thanks!
Nicki
I'm new to the group and hoping to have a safe space to talk about my daily struggles with my weight and body issues. I don't have a diagnosed eating disorder, but I definitely struggle with severe obsession and actions with my weight. In high school, I didn't eat for weeks because I wanted to lose weight and was sick of feeling like the "fat friend". Barely anyone noticed I wasn't eating, until my boyfriend at the time made me eat a chip and I almost threw up. Then all he did was yell at me.
Now, I am almost 40, divorced, 2 great kids, a loving and amazing man in my life, and I hate my body more than ever. I have an obscene amount of self-hatred towards my body and the dialog that goes on every day in my head is ugly. I'm to the point now where I loathe being in my body and have started entertaining the thought of not eating, or eating minimally, to lose weight.
The issue I have had with losing weight is that I become obsessive, almost immediately. Counting calories, counting points, it is ALL I focus. What I will plan for my next mean, avoiding any and all temptation. If I DO give in and have a cookie or something, I berate myself and punish myself the next day. It is ALL consuming, all the time.
My boyfriend loves me the way I am. He is muscular and goes to the gym almost every day. He never asks me to go or wants me to go, but it somehow makes me MORE self-conscious. But yet, him loving me as I am, makes me feel better when I'm with him.
It is such a twisted roller coaster I am going through. I need to work through it in order to get better and have a healthy relationship with my body again.
Anyone have any similar experiences? Definitely looking for friends to compare notes with and talk to :)
Thanks!
Nicki
Although it gives us a sense of control calorie restricting is known not to lead to sustainable, healthy weight loss. And do you really need to lose weight? I did recover from my food and body obsessions but Ive never been overweight so I dont unfortunately have good advice on how to achieve that - if thats what you really need?
Its good that you have a boyfriend who loves you the way you are. I was just wondering, does he know how much energy your food obsession absorbs from you? Does he know how miserable you are with your body? And have you tried psychotherapy or any other therapies?
Do I need to lose weight? Well, according to my dr and any weight website, I do. I'm 5'4 and around 200 (the heaviest I've ever been). I wear a size 14/16. Whenever I go to my dr (I also take Prozac for anxiety/depression), he always says to cut carbs and blah blah blah and TRY. WELL, I'm a single mom of 2 kids, was working 2 jobs for several years, and barely made ends meet. Let me add THAT to everything else!!
I haven't shared with him how bad it is. The other thing that consumes me is comparing myself to others. I see someone with a shape like mine and I say, "...yeah but her stomach is flat", so I just feel worse, that I'm NOT version of plus size. Or curvy. Or whatver the hell you want to call it! But constant, CONSTANT comparison. I have slowly been sharing with him.
I did do therapy for 5 years, but that was focused on my anxiety and panic attacks. This would be a whooooole new chunk of time to parse through!.