Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
Don't be fooled by the title. This new beginning isn't filled with positive upbringings to evolve into a soaring role model. No, quite the opposite.
I've recently gotten back into bulimia. Every time I eat something unhealthy, or even healthy, hell, my new home is my bathroom. I don't want to be "saved," by going back to the hospital, if anything, I want to save myself. Even if that means suicide. I've been cutting for a few years; stopped for a few months, but I'm back into it. My father already told me there is no hope for me. My mother is worried sick, but I don't have enough motivation to transform into that better person that I have the potential to be. I could achieve my dreams. In another world, maybe. My self-esteem has hastily rocketed beneath my feet, too deep for me to grasp. I cannot find a solution, besides the cutting (which I don't even enjoy as much) and bulimia. My weight (210) is bringing me to the verge of starvation.
Yesterday, I tried committing suicide by overdose. I fell asleep with hopes of never seeing the sun again. Unfortunately, I watched it set. I also overdosed three days ago too. Obviously, that effort was futile. I'm at a loss. I feel like a disappointment to my parents. I just failed a regents, I've never had a boyfriend, I'm not going to go to college for a definitive job; I'm going to be a bassist. How much chance is there of succession there? My twin sister excels in everything: she has been in a relationship for over 1 year, she has great grades, she can drive much better than I. And here I am. A failure. An overweight, ugly excuse of a teenager. I don't even understand my intention on this venting. I just need to talk to someone; anyone.
I've recently gotten back into bulimia. Every time I eat something unhealthy, or even healthy, hell, my new home is my bathroom. I don't want to be "saved," by going back to the hospital, if anything, I want to save myself. Even if that means suicide. I've been cutting for a few years; stopped for a few months, but I'm back into it. My father already told me there is no hope for me. My mother is worried sick, but I don't have enough motivation to transform into that better person that I have the potential to be. I could achieve my dreams. In another world, maybe. My self-esteem has hastily rocketed beneath my feet, too deep for me to grasp. I cannot find a solution, besides the cutting (which I don't even enjoy as much) and bulimia. My weight (210) is bringing me to the verge of starvation.
Yesterday, I tried committing suicide by overdose. I fell asleep with hopes of never seeing the sun again. Unfortunately, I watched it set. I also overdosed three days ago too. Obviously, that effort was futile. I'm at a loss. I feel like a disappointment to my parents. I just failed a regents, I've never had a boyfriend, I'm not going to go to college for a definitive job; I'm going to be a bassist. How much chance is there of succession there? My twin sister excels in everything: she has been in a relationship for over 1 year, she has great grades, she can drive much better than I. And here I am. A failure. An overweight, ugly excuse of a teenager. I don't even understand my intention on this venting. I just need to talk to someone; anyone.
Family and societys values and measures of success are not attainable to everybody. And you dont need to be successful by other peoples standards. Its fine to be a bassist. Honestly there can be life without a career and a family (although you never know whats ahead). It is more challenging if you dont fit into the mould you feel you were supposed to but give yourself a chance. Any possibility of therapy or counselling?