Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
I used to be normal, a normal kid, normal size, normal energy, normal eating habits. Now I've entered Middle School and am almost done, this year has been a roller coaster. 7th grade kids can be vicious, a boy touched my leg with his finger and poked into my layers and layers of fat and the only response I got was "ew". Why, did he have to be that way, I couldn't fight back because, I knew people would think I was over reacting if I did. Why, do I have this ongoing apin in my stomach to be popular? I know people say "Be youself" but, being yourself throws you into deep depression and makes you want to die. I thought it would get better if I tried to be popular but, I was pretending to be someone else. I binge eat, most of it is just boredom unlike sadness or anger like other peoples binge eating. So far I'm in the middle of a time trying to get skinnier. Today I ate a grape and an almond yet no one noticed. My dad knows that there's a problem with my weight, I'm in the 93 percentile for my age... fun. If you have any tips on how to get skinnier without starving myself because, I know the less I eat now the more I'll eat later.
I know you say you are eating out of boredom, and I am sure that is some of it, but my feeling is that you are also likely eating your feelings - you just may not know you are feeling them. That is a big issue with many of us with ED's, we just don't feel our own emotions any more. Sometimes we actually do feel our emotions but we push them aside for fear of showing others how we really feel - and being told we are "over reacting". Your feelings are very valid and if a boy, or anyone, pushes on your side and says "ew" then you are correct to feel hurt, angry, violated and betrayed. That is not an over reaction at all.
This board is designed to help people heal from their ED and what you are asking here is for us to help you lose weight and actually feed your ED. Eating a grape and an almond is definitely not healthy and this board promotes healthy eating habits along with healing any negative self talk and many other things too.
My suggestion for you would be to tell your father that you are struggling with your eating habits and that you need help. If you can't tell your father then please tell a counselor or teacher at school. You definitely want to heal this behavior while you are still young otherwise it has a way of taking over your life.