Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
I haven't been on here in a long time, but I don't know what to do anymore. My eating behaviors have become so erratic that every night I end up crying myself to sleep and my body physically shaking. I will starve for around two days, three if I'm lucky then binge and take in massive amounts of food for a day if I'm lucky or three if I'm not. I'll then try and repent, fast for three days and become really weak, binge again, and the cycle repeats itself.
For the past couple of months I have felt things slowly beginning to get worse and worse, but my best friend has been there to help me. She doesn't know about my eating disorder, but she's the only one I've told that I used to go to therapy, take pills for depression and I've told her I suffer mentally with something every day that will probably kill me, but that only confused her... Either way, she's been going through some things too.
We've been helping each other make it through our daily lives, but now our school is making her take a "medical leave of absence" because she has had "one emotional breakdown too many". She's going to be in an outpatient system, but they might send her to an impatient unit and her parents won't let anyone see her. School is a hell hole for me and without my best friend I don't see how I can deal.
We wear really short, tight skirts around our waists for the uniform and since I measured them wrong when I bought them (you need to buy the measurement of your waist) drinking or eating anything makes my skirt horribly tight and triggers a binge or a fast. I have come to my whits end. I'm only fifteen and I feel like I'm not living, I'm surviving and it's at the point where I wouldn't care if I died or not. I just don't know what to do anymore...
For the past couple of months I have felt things slowly beginning to get worse and worse, but my best friend has been there to help me. She doesn't know about my eating disorder, but she's the only one I've told that I used to go to therapy, take pills for depression and I've told her I suffer mentally with something every day that will probably kill me, but that only confused her... Either way, she's been going through some things too.
We've been helping each other make it through our daily lives, but now our school is making her take a "medical leave of absence" because she has had "one emotional breakdown too many". She's going to be in an outpatient system, but they might send her to an impatient unit and her parents won't let anyone see her. School is a hell hole for me and without my best friend I don't see how I can deal.
We wear really short, tight skirts around our waists for the uniform and since I measured them wrong when I bought them (you need to buy the measurement of your waist) drinking or eating anything makes my skirt horribly tight and triggers a binge or a fast. I have come to my whits end. I'm only fifteen and I feel like I'm not living, I'm surviving and it's at the point where I wouldn't care if I died or not. I just don't know what to do anymore...
mybeach
First, can you get a new uniform? One that fits so that is at least one thing you don't have to deal with. Second, you mentioned that you had told your friend about therapy and pills so do you still have a therapist or can you get back into therapy. Losing your friend even if temporarily is really hard to go through without the added complications of ED and especially at your age. It is ok to be sad and disappointed but you need to find someone else to help you through your eating disorder. What about your parents or a school counselor?
ItWhispersLies
Sadly I can't get a new uniform. The skirts are mandatory that you can only buy through my school and are only for sale during the Summer months. I asked about getting a new one but they don't have any stock near my size at the moment. Second, I did I have a therapist... but that was a waste of time. I went to a therapist twice a week, a nutritionist once a week and a psychiatrist once a week who all knew about my ED. I also had two school counselors and I talked to my parents, but the doctors just wasted my time, my parents didn't understand me and tried to deny I had a problem and the school tried to force me into a medical leave of absence like their doing to my friend now. She was the only one I could talk to now.
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