Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
I got really worried when my mum came in for the second time last night, she came in and was angry and said "What are you doing with all of the toilet paper. You're going through way too much. What are you doing with it all!?" I just froze, I couldn't say anything. She said she's been keeping quiet about it but now its ridiculous, and if I wanted to have to buy my own toilet paper, and was saying I'm surprised it hasn't clogged up the toilets or anything!? The thing is I couldn't tell her, by the end of the previous admissions I had been able to tell her EVERYTHING. Now I feel like I can't even talk to her, and I'm always getting so stressed and angry at everyone completely out of my control. I am scared that I am really going to hurt something or break something... I feel like I am loosing it, I can't control myself. As with the toilet paper, I don't know what to do :/ Maybe she will just ignore and forget about it now. I really don't want her to know, but I find it really weird how this time round she hasn't noticed anything, or that I have already lost like 8 and a half kilograms, and border-lining on underweight again (BMI - 18.68). Hoping for the confidence to not start fainting and maybe think about reaching for help again :(
sarasota34233
Honey--you are sick again...you have all the signs. You are underweight, you are having severe mood swings, you are unable to keep your food down, you are in a weight loss mode, and you are not interested in changing anything or telling anyone. It is time to reach out for help before you on another involuntary hold. There are good providers out there...I know that hasn't been your experience but there really are...please try to tell your mom that you are in trouble again and that you need help...and that you want to help pick out the therapist this time. You need to see a medical doctor. You have been purging for a long time now. You also may need to go back on your meds to help with your mood. What do you think? What is one thing that you could do that could help make your situation better? I am worried about you!!
TheED
I don't feel 18.6 is underweight, plus if I have just one little meal in a day it would all come right back at me. I'm so terrified of gaining instead of losing weight, and I'm not really sure how anyone else can help other than just being there to talk I guess, but even that won't be a straight up fix-it-solution, and it seems so impossible to just have to take the long road because recovery just takes forever and is so so difficult. I might try and speak to someone tomorrow, and I have a GP appointment on Friday. And between then I might go for my blood test and I guess if there isn't anything wrong with the bloods he won't say anything and then I will be moving away from home for a holiday with friends (pretend schoolies) then straight to university. I guess I am still at the moment where I don't feel that I need to be worried about anything and that if I ever am about a side effect then I'm just being paranoid or a hypochondriac. I might try go back on my meds, hopefully they might start to work with the moods anyway. Its just there really isn't great help where I live, however there will be more options for when I move away for the summer university course.
innerhappiness
Hi, I haven't been following but wonder why you fear talking to mom now so give that some thought . and mom's anger is out of her own feeling of helplessness and worry because of her love for you . in any case keep talking to someone, anyone who cares. and shes not going to forget , it's just on the back burner when shes quiet about it so it can't be avoided for long or just go away. I agree with sarasota too. keep us updated and I'll be back.. Love and Hugz
TheED
Hi, I'm not even really sure why I am wanting to keep this away from my mum so bad. I guess that's what comes with the condition and the feelings of beimg ashamed or embarrassed. Ive been trying to talk to someone but haven't been able to so much lately as I have been, and am still currently away so have been really busy so haven't been able to see or speak to anyone.
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