I recently attending a 2-week training, 8 hrs a day, 20 trainees, 2 trainers.... every day, all day, 22 people in a banquet room for 80 hours together, 22 people from all walks of life, people of all sorts of shapes, sizes, ethnicities, ages, religions,sexual preferences, economic means... We were all survivors of different shipwrecks too, some of us ED, some sexual abuse, some depression, attempted suicide, cutters, sniffers, pill poppers, domestic violence, rape...

We were what you might call, a "motley crew", but in a GOOD way. The best possible way.

We made an agreement from Day 1, on a big sheet of flip-chart paper, with a lovely Grape-scented marker... Everyone was allowed to contribute to the agreement. We ended up filling the page. We read this agreement at the start of every day. We also referred back to it at various times, when someone was... getting a little off track maybe... stepping on one of the agreements... that we had all... agreed to.. ha ha, the language gets fun here...

The point is, it was generated from us. No one passed down a set of laws to us. We spontaneously and organically generated our own list of things we really wanted to happen, all of us, as people, we wanted to respect each other and to be respected, and we wanted the opportunity to learn from each other, with each other, that was the whole purpose of the training... of LIFE, really, right?

So naturally the list started with "Be respectful." "Put cell phones on Vibrate" "Be responsible for your own wellness." "Be honest."

But the one agreement that really stood out, the one we referred back to the most, was this: "Agree to disagree, and move on."

We used the TAR outta that thing! And it saved us hours and hours of circuitous, frustrating, no-end-in-sight "discussion" (arguing). Sometimes we are not going to agree, no matter how long we "discuss", no matter how loud, no matter how passionately. But we still have business to conduct. We still have a purpose for meeting here.

We are a rag-tag motley crew here. ED is pervasive, indiscriminate, and complicated, so many forms, so many manifestations... Your experience is going to be so different from mine, and what works for me, well, if you ASK, I'm gonna tell you what works for me, and you can take what you want from that, you decide. But understand that I'm telling you out of a place of love, and our common goal. Recovery. I'm gonna promise not to try to push my stuff on you, and you please do the same for me.

I'm gonna tell you right here and now, I joined in that argument. I sided. We're getting nowhere. We're hurting each other. And we're hurting this site. OUR site. Therefore...

...can we agree to disagree, and move on?

In the spirit of moving on, I pose this question: What are you gonna do today to keep yourself well?

Here's mine: I'm literally going to wash my face, and get a fresh start. I have a brand new tub of Noxema, I'm gonna slather a big bunch on my face and let the icy coolness soak in... It feels so good, makes my face tingly, and wakes me right up.

What are you gonna do today, in the spirit of wellness and moving on?