Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
I'm new to the group, definitely not new to this merry go round of ED. I've recently been diagnosed in December but I am have battled for years without labeling it. I've been in counseling for 6 months and it's not working.
Today I went to Victoria secrets, when the lady told me I went up two cup sizes from all this weight gain my mood was devastated. It soured my whole day and caused a trigger. My poor best friend who thought we would go in for perfume and underwear was my support as I cried my eyes out in the car. I told her, my boobs have always been the one thing in this world that was "normal" and now they aren't. They, too, are plus sized and I've just gotten to a point where I am absolutely disgusted with myself and my body and everything. I could remove every mirror in my house and be fine.
I just hate every roll, every dimple, every let of my body and I don't know how to make it stop. I've been at every level, I've dieted down to 160 (I'm 5'11) and I've been as heavy as 275 and everywhere in between. At 160 I though I was still too fat but everyone said I was too skinny. When will the number stop ruling my world?
Today I went to Victoria secrets, when the lady told me I went up two cup sizes from all this weight gain my mood was devastated. It soured my whole day and caused a trigger. My poor best friend who thought we would go in for perfume and underwear was my support as I cried my eyes out in the car. I told her, my boobs have always been the one thing in this world that was "normal" and now they aren't. They, too, are plus sized and I've just gotten to a point where I am absolutely disgusted with myself and my body and everything. I could remove every mirror in my house and be fine.
I just hate every roll, every dimple, every let of my body and I don't know how to make it stop. I've been at every level, I've dieted down to 160 (I'm 5'11) and I've been as heavy as 275 and everywhere in between. At 160 I though I was still too fat but everyone said I was too skinny. When will the number stop ruling my world?
Trying to find acceptance of yourself is so tricky, and although I couldn't tell you how to do it, I can say from looking at myself years ago and looking at myself now, it's a night and day difference in how positively I view myself. I'm only saying that because I've been where you are, and been totally convinced I'll hate myself and always hate every little thing and never be good enough unless I do this or can do that etc etc. My mentality towards myself is still a work in progress, as I'm a work in progress too, and that's at least hope I hold onto, like you can hold onto as well.
Hope this helped slightly