Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
So i've been telling one of my cousins from my dad's said that i have an eating disorder and she told me that she told her two sisters that i have an eating disorder and they're both shocked. She also recently replied to my text that she feels like what i'm doing is just a way of getting attention. and i'm not doing it for attention, it's actually a cry for help. and i feel like the boy who cried wolf. and i've gotten into a really bad relapse and i've been binging and purging for the past few days. i honestly don't know what to do anymore... i feel like no one trusts me and my close friend hasn't been texting me for 3 weeks so i have no idea what's going on and i feel like shit all the time. Whenever people tell me that i am pretty or beautiful i don't believe them. I want to love myself.
It's hard, because many people don't have any knowledge about the way Eating Disorders work. It's almost seen as taboo, not something that should be talked about. That if it gets ignored, it'll go away, because us victims won't be getting the "attention" we want & will get sick of putting on the "act". Which is cruel for those of us going through it. People often have a black & white view & think it's something we can stop with the click of a finger. They have no idea of the struggle, the constant war going on in our head. How little control we have over the monster that attempts to rule our life.
Have you contacted your friend at all? Maybe try explain to her how much you need her right now? She possibly doesn't realise how distraught you are at the moment. I used to expect people to just know how I was feeling, to read my mind & meet my needs through that. When really I had to communicate with them, even though that was difficult.
You're NOT the boy who cried wolf. You're a girl who's in a horrific situation & desperately needs loved ones standing beside her in support. What you're going through is very real. Relapsing means you've improved in the past & been the conqueror. Which means that you can do it again - even if you don't feel you can. Xx
The hardest part, breaking the cycle, dropping the habit, is the heaviest weight on your shoulders. After that, the initial struggle is done, and the journey goes on. You have to be honest with yourself, keep someone who is maybe younger than you in mind, and be the example you would want them to be in the future. If thatks what gives you strength, it can be enough to overcome the doubts you have.
As always, anyone here at DS is a click of a button away to talk to. X