Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
Hi everyone im sorry im posting again i only posted something here last week but im really freaking out
i wont let myself eat more than 200 cals a day this has been for the past 4-5 weeks (befour that it was 400) but today i have been so hungery normally i can cope with being hungry in fact i like it because i think if i dont eat my body will have to use fat it has stored but today i had to eat so i ate a slice of ham ( the thin sliced packet shit) and a tiny bit of chicken breast at about 2pm then at 6pm i ate more ham and chicken then my partener got a take away and it smelt so good so i went and ate half a tin of tuna and this was at 11pm i wont normally eat after 6-7pm ut thats not even the worst bit my partner passed me chips and said have some i actually put one in my mouth and chewed it then i ran and spat it out and washed my mouth out i hate myself for even putting that in my mouth and i have eaten around 250-300 cals today and only exersized for about 30 mins i am totaly dreading getting on the scales in the morning i didnt lose anything this morning i will probably gain tomorow and hate myself even more
I feel awful right now i feel like a complete failure
why cant i just eat normally why cant i just be happy right now the only thing that makes me happy is when i stand on the scales and i have lost weight but that didnt happen today and i doubt it will tomorrow either
ok rant over sorry guys just a bit stressed at the mo
i wont let myself eat more than 200 cals a day this has been for the past 4-5 weeks (befour that it was 400) but today i have been so hungery normally i can cope with being hungry in fact i like it because i think if i dont eat my body will have to use fat it has stored but today i had to eat so i ate a slice of ham ( the thin sliced packet shit) and a tiny bit of chicken breast at about 2pm then at 6pm i ate more ham and chicken then my partener got a take away and it smelt so good so i went and ate half a tin of tuna and this was at 11pm i wont normally eat after 6-7pm ut thats not even the worst bit my partner passed me chips and said have some i actually put one in my mouth and chewed it then i ran and spat it out and washed my mouth out i hate myself for even putting that in my mouth and i have eaten around 250-300 cals today and only exersized for about 30 mins i am totaly dreading getting on the scales in the morning i didnt lose anything this morning i will probably gain tomorow and hate myself even more
I feel awful right now i feel like a complete failure
why cant i just eat normally why cant i just be happy right now the only thing that makes me happy is when i stand on the scales and i have lost weight but that didnt happen today and i doubt it will tomorrow either
ok rant over sorry guys just a bit stressed at the mo
I'm sorry, but not that sorry because i don;t want to come across as mean (i'm neither mean, or perfect, i have demons too like everyone else on here) but i want this comment to at least open your eyes a little. You need to know, if you eat that little (besides every other disastrous effect ) your body won't start tapping into it's stored fat, your body will hold onto every ounce of fat it possibly can for as long as humanly possible in a bid to preserve itself, rather, it will just burn away all your muscle tissue. And that (for weight loss reasons, and others) is stuff you would want to keep in your body to stay thin and trim.
I understand what it's like to have your entire day's happiness dependant on your weight, and i'm willing to bet you think that if you lost more weight, you're life would be turned around and you would be happy ever after, i get that. But what i can tell you is that happiness won't come from that, it's not a way to live, and to be that level of obsessive and restrictive, you won't live long enough to find out anyway.
I hope you speak to a dietician who can also understand your phsycology, hopefully educate yourself on what different foods will do for your body, learn that only specific types of calories are your enemy (and only in large numbers)
Please don't carry on the way you have been doing, and please don't think i'm trying to upset you, it would've been easier to leave this post alone, i've only wrote this to try and help. I don't want to see people lose their happiness to ED's.
J.