Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
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when people compliment u on ur weightloss and ask for "ur secret" or they wanna shrink just like u do u feel bad? i feel terribly guilty...like im gonna make them develope an ED.
my mom, who wants to drop 10lbs before this party next saturday, took my pills and it taking them too, yet she tells me "i love food too much, i wouldnt dare punish myself like ur doing and not eat" she has always done that for as long as i can remember when dshe has a party, dress to fit it etc she goes on these quick diets and then after an event is done she continues her regular self, she eats but shes always making concoctions (sp?) saying if u drink this with this ur tummy will go down etc.
she bought this big regular size carrot cake and i was staring at it then locked mself in my room but couldnt stop thinking about it...so i got up and i called my mom and asked if i could have a slice of carrot cake (my mom hates when i ask for stuff...she says everything in the house is for everyone ..stop asking her but she understand that 8 years of torture from my dad just wont go away) i just wanted someone to say its ok to eat a slice of cake cuz in my head i was being yelled at and this time my mom understood me....she asked me why i was sooo anxious and if she cut a slice first if i would be calm so i said yeah and she did. and i was calm while i ate half a slice.
then while she was making her "weightloss formula" i said i wanted some too so she said ok and then she was like u see thats how i wanna look and she touched my stomach and was like iff i had ur shape i could fit perfectly in the dress and then, tho she doesnt know, i felt bad....i feel like im a bad influence....i dont mean to be. i dont talk about eating around my baby girl cousin whose 8..i would never ever want her to be in my position...i was 9 when things started with me. eating issues, abuse, sadness etc.
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when people compliment u on ur weightloss and ask for "ur secret" or they wanna shrink just like u do u feel bad? i feel terribly guilty...like im gonna make them develope an ED.
my mom, who wants to drop 10lbs before this party next saturday, took my pills and it taking them too, yet she tells me "i love food too much, i wouldnt dare punish myself like ur doing and not eat" she has always done that for as long as i can remember when dshe has a party, dress to fit it etc she goes on these quick diets and then after an event is done she continues her regular self, she eats but shes always making concoctions (sp?) saying if u drink this with this ur tummy will go down etc.
she bought this big regular size carrot cake and i was staring at it then locked mself in my room but couldnt stop thinking about it...so i got up and i called my mom and asked if i could have a slice of carrot cake (my mom hates when i ask for stuff...she says everything in the house is for everyone ..stop asking her but she understand that 8 years of torture from my dad just wont go away) i just wanted someone to say its ok to eat a slice of cake cuz in my head i was being yelled at and this time my mom understood me....she asked me why i was sooo anxious and if she cut a slice first if i would be calm so i said yeah and she did. and i was calm while i ate half a slice.
then while she was making her "weightloss formula" i said i wanted some too so she said ok and then she was like u see thats how i wanna look and she touched my stomach and was like iff i had ur shape i could fit perfectly in the dress and then, tho she doesnt know, i felt bad....i feel like im a bad influence....i dont mean to be. i dont talk about eating around my baby girl cousin whose 8..i would never ever want her to be in my position...i was 9 when things started with me. eating issues, abuse, sadness etc.
One of my cousins is the same age as my youngest sister, 15. Her friend, who often has brunch with us on the weekends, eats small portions, leaves to go to the restroom after. It doesn't help that her older sister is full-blown anorexic- it has even interfered with her work. All I have thought to do is to make food a non-issue when we hang out. Once though when she just wouldn't stop I flat out told her about the time I had spent at a treatment facility and she let up on it for a bit.
My mom also has some bizarre food rituals. I never really felt responsible for her behaviors, since she is older than I am and has had double the amount of time on this earth. She rationally knows, or did know, that her behavior isn't normal. It's on her, not on me.
I feel guilty for the way I influenced my roommate my freshman year of college. We were 'buddies' and I would push the boundaries and get close to saying she ate too much. I'd tell her 'well I wouldn't eat that much.' It wasn't a safe relationship for either of us. I don't see her at all anymore- I regret it a lot... I wonder at what kind of friendship we would have had otherwise, but what is done, is done.
You're going to treatment soon to get help. Even if no one says anything to you about it, they will think about it on their own. Perhaps your strength with encourage them to be strong for their own health.
And that's my two cents.
PS- I think it is so sweet that she offered to cut it for you.
yeah i really liked that she understood me last nite....she even brought me my safe foods just do that i can eat. i think shes noticing me a little and thats nice. i think she notices that she can see bones that werent visible before....today she kept talking to me about organs and iron vitamins and all this.
It's great that your Mum is so understanding. I don't think you need to feel guilty though. A good percentage of women are on diets of some sort. As you've said, your Mum always goes on 'quick diets' and then continues to eat normally afterwards. I can understand you might not want to talk about it infront of your cousin though as your probably worried she'll pick up on bad habits.
I had a similar experience with my Mum. She said to me "I wish I could just lose weight as quickly as you do". I was really upset and I still dont think she fully understands why this upset me.
Don't beat yourself up. There are lots of events and experiences that contribute to an eating disorder. Your Mum isn't going to develope an eating disorder just because you have issues with food.
my mom just understood for that one time..she doesnt get me....my mom calls me "ti zo" which is creole for bones....and says im getting smaller and smaller but she doesnt understand that its a problem. and thast i dont wanna keep fighting with myself when it comes to food.