I don't want you to starve yourself either - nor do I want to see you continue to binge and purge. It's a terrible cycle that is not easy to stop.

My number one tip is to start working with a therapist if you are not already. If you have any trauma's in your past it would benefit you on many levels to begin healing it/them. If you don't have trauma's in your past then working with a therapist who specializes in ED's would be very helpful. It sounds like you are at a place in your life where you are ready to start healing so I hope you are able to work with a therapist. You deserve to heal and you deserve to live your life free from the restrict-binge-repeat cycle.

Oohhh man. I’ve been there. I used to live this cycle pretty much every day. I would always tell myself during episodes of eating that I’d do “better” tomorrow but as you can guess, it was very very rarely any “better”. So I get it! I’m sort of out of that cycle now because my desire to eat is kind of dead sometimes, even when I’m probably quite hungry. It’s weird. But I remember it well. It’s awful.
The way I was able to overcome that pattern (I’ve since fallen a bit from where I was at, in the past month or so, but it worked for a while) was eating small amounts all day. I still didn’t really eat meals but I would eat like a bowl of cereal or an apple or other less healthy things I don’t want to admit I ate lol. But you see what I mean. That helps you not binge/overeat, although for some reason I still struggled with the overeating a bit, it mostly pulled me out of that cycle. Best wishes to you!

I'm sorry you are having a hard time, I hope you will be ok soon. Hugs.