Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
Hey all- so as many of you know, I tried the whole healthy eating thing with the hopes that I would be able to just eat whatever I wanted in MODERATION.
That has now turned into me restricting and obsessing over food. I stay up at night watching videos about food, diets, obesity, eating disorder, exercise, whatever the hell I can find.
My belly has gotten flatter over the past few weeks and I'm trying to be satisfied with the results but it's hard. I watched a video about a girl who was intentionally trying to be fat and was jiggling her belly on youtube and I wanted to cry because I'm afraid I will become that.
I want to be NORMAL but I can't find any other end to this extreme! I want a pretty body.
I'm sorry this is so disjointed. I'm just stupid and I hate my ED but I hate my body too =(
That has now turned into me restricting and obsessing over food. I stay up at night watching videos about food, diets, obesity, eating disorder, exercise, whatever the hell I can find.
My belly has gotten flatter over the past few weeks and I'm trying to be satisfied with the results but it's hard. I watched a video about a girl who was intentionally trying to be fat and was jiggling her belly on youtube and I wanted to cry because I'm afraid I will become that.
I want to be NORMAL but I can't find any other end to this extreme! I want a pretty body.
I'm sorry this is so disjointed. I'm just stupid and I hate my ED but I hate my body too =(
i agree that this sounds pretty obsessive. if there's ANY way you can get to see a nutritionist to give you a healthy eating plan, i think that's a really great idea. even if you can't though, something's gotta change...maybe a start would be making sure you eat 3 solid meals every day? that's definitely healthy, and not too much at all. i have the same problem with the videos, and i think there are ways to block youtube from your computer...i did that for awhile and it helped me wean myself off of them. good luck!
Finally you are NOT stupid. You are just struggling to come to terms with the reality of ED - the actual power that it has over our behaviors. It's actually quite easy to fall back into negative states.
It's good that you want to be "normal" - though that's not an actual place because we ALL have problems...alot just don't show them. But, I understand what you mean when you say that. I think that you need to cut yourself off from all the videos - I mean, YouTube has some pretty triggering...and bizarre...stuff. Have a "no computer time", after a certain time you shut down your computer for the night and it stays off. Just so you know, lack of sleep messes with our thoughts. This could be fueling the obsessing even further. So, get a nice sleep - at least 8 hours is what they say is a good amount.
I wish we could all just love our bodies. :( Why can't we??
Are you seeing anyone? A doctor? Nutritionist? They should be able to help you set up a plan to regulate your eating.
I know how you feel about the videos. I do EXACTLY the same thing even now when I'm in recovery. It's hard to let them go. But I know they're no good for me.
I don't think anyone on here likes their body much. Your definately not stuid though. Hope your feeling a bit better now.