Long story short I went through a few years of restriction and being underweight, then a few years of binging and being overweight, then a few MORE years of restriction and being underweight, now I’ve been binging/overweight for about a year and a half. I’ve also been battling depression and anxiety. I just turned 19 and after a bad school year last year, my parents were afraid to send me to college. But I had an okay summer and here I’ve been at college 3 hours away from home for about 2 months now. At first it was fine - then the stress came on and the binge/restrict cycle started again. At first I would just drive somewhere and binge on fast food in my car. But lately I’ve been binging on my roommates food when their not around and I feel so terribly. I feel like I can’t control myself - like an animal. I try to accept myself and tell myself I am worthy of being happy and healthy, but it’s hard. My roommates are so skinny and they talk about “being fat” and make me reassure them that they aren’t. I was doing well in school, but lately I haven’t been able to focus. I’m really afraid that I’m going to have to drop out of school because I’ll fail and then I’ll be dependent on my family forever. But then a part of me WANTS to do that - a part of me WANTS someone to say “even though she’s not skinny anymore, she needs help” and take me somewhere to get help 24/7. But I know that would cost so much money and then I would disappoint my family by wasting their money and ahhh I don’t know what to do.