I was pretty much exactly where your daughter is when I was 18 and a senior in high school. I knew I had a problem but I kept getting positive feedback from people saying that "I looked so thin." To me that was a great thing...and my mind kept telling me that if I look good being that thin then I will look better being even thinner. Being thin was the only thing that I felt successful at...even though I had a full scholarship to college, a lot of friends, sports, and the like. My parents took me to therapy and to a nutritionist and nothing worked...I found ways to trick them by choosing only diet foods, exercising in secret, and the like. I finally had to be placed in a fairly long-term treatment facility for 2 months...the summer before college. The best thing you can do is provide therapy, a nutritionist, good doctors, and your support. She is the only one who can really do the work. Eating disorders are horrible...they take over your entire life. When she acts unreasonable it is her ED that is acting that way...not her. I have struggled with anorexia 3 additional times since the first time. Seeing a good therapist and a good nutritionist can help a lot. In the end, though, whatever happens is up to her. She does not want an involuntary commitment. I am glad that you are in therapy as well...have you tried family therapy?

i know you said that you don't want to do forced treatment, but this is a serious issue......i strongly recommend taking her to a local behavioral health hospital the specializes in eating disorders....she needs to be healthy and what she's doing right now is really hurting her....if she looks like the way she does, she needs help right away......if a behavioral health hospital isn't an option the next thing i'd say is residential....there are a number of residential places that specialize in eating disorders...i've heard good things about timberline knolls, it's in lemont, illinois.....that's what i would say to look into.....it sounds like your daughter really needs help and support......i know it;s hard and that you feel powerless, but by being there for her and helping her through recovery and especially by getting is started that'll help her....hope this helped.....if you wanna talk, feel free to message me

Thank you both for the comments. I live in the UK. So she is attending an eating disorder clinic here. As metioned she had blood tests weekly, weigh ins, one on one therapy and the two of us go to family therapy. I also go to the support group every two weeks. So we are following the advice of the professionals. The clinic she attends is meant to be excellent. They are treating 400 girls and some men too. I feel that she probably wont lose more because there is no more to lose. They have not given her a meal plan yet. So thats a little worrying. I just invited her to go to the spa but she declined does not want to eat in the dining room there and she may feel like she does not want someone to see her during a massage. Anyway not to ramble on. She knows the seriousness. Curious which switch just flips to make a person choose wellness? I need some hope. Our family loves and adores her.

There's no magic switch to have people choose help.....it takes time....sometimes people need a gentle push but eventually they'll get there...it might help if they do activities at this clinic....it'll take time for her to want it..

That is a good question...when/how does a person "flip the switch" to choose " to have an ED...and NO ONE would consciously make that decision. It seems to just happen...sorta like a diet gone bad. I know that I, in essence, chose wellness when I was no longer getting anything "good" from my ED. Wellness has been quite a journey with good days and bad days. When I was your daughter's age the thought of not being able to go to college with my peers...and losing the sport that I loved...was a good motivator. I still needed a lot of help and a lot of patience from professionals and my family. Right now I am choosing wellness because I am a single mom of three teenagers and need to be well for my kids. My 15-year-old has autism and has a lot of needs. I still see a therapist and a nutritionist...and some days I still struggle a lot, especially with exercise addiction. Having something to work toward or to be needed for has helped me. Your daughter will get there...the body and the brain need a certain amount of nourishment to even think clearly. Her focus now should be on weight restoration and that will help with clearer thinking. I am sorry that you...and she...are going through this. It is truly a nightmare for all involved.

I wish she wanted weight restoration. My other daughter follows her instagram account and it says she passed out in the bathroom last night. Im so worried. I have informed her doctors. She is on the verge of losing her independence, university, and this would be such a disappointment. I am worried but she wants me to get out of her business. Its complicated. I am doing what I can. :( im so sad.

Has her program considered an inpatient stay in order to focus on weight restoration? That might be the jump start that she needs. You are doing a great job just being there for her and supporting her. It may get worse before it gets better...but brighter days are ahead. Keep the faith and keep reaching out for health. I am adamant about the fact that, without adequate nutrition, she cannot think clearly and, without that, recovery is far more difficult.

A lot of what they do is private. Im not allowed to have access to everything because she is 19. She does mot want me smothering her. She keeps saying I am a person. Treat me normally but its hard considering that it is impossible to not worry. But i am doing my best. The clinic she attends has a good track record. She may end up inpatient. Sadly some sufferers seem to compete to be even thinner so it can also have a negative effect. Its so complicated. I wish i could make it all better but i cant. Its been hard to be on this wild Roller coaster ride and I know we both want off. Thanks for your support. I cant make her eat or stop purging when she does. But i do believe that people do get well.

Libby,
I am so happy you are on this site!!! And I am truly impressed and encouraged by the WONDERFUL support from people like Sarasota3, who has gone thru this herself. There is nothing that can compare to advice from someone who is experienced in this, and who may be continuing the battle, but is on the winning side of it. Sarasota3 is priceless!!!
I have no expertise in this area. But I am your friend, and I want to support you. I am SO HAPPY that there are people in this group with personal experience who can bolster you.
God bless. Praying, praying, praying.