The feeling of being taken advantage of "keys" into very deep parts into our psyche. It can make us feel vulnerable and that's a scary place to be.

Anger... that's never easy. I don't know about you but in the home I grew up in (very abusive etc) as children we were to be seen but never heard (I grew up in the 60s). My parents were rage-aholics but we were never ever allowed to show anger, sadness, fear, anything real. We had to be "happy happy happy" all the time because anything else sent parents esp narcissistic mother in angry rages.

I now realise this was because both parents (who were smashed-up train-wrecks of people, poor things) had been orphaned during their early years, put in institutions or farmed out to cruel relatives, etc. They both carried so much pain and had never ever been able to face it or deal with it. People just did not do this in those days and there was no understanding of trauma, pain, mental health issues etc like we have now (they grew up in the 1930s, 1940s and 1950s).

I've found understanding more about my parents' own stories (both dead now) has helped me heal and get the help I've needed because it has helped me understanding the CONTEXT in which I grew up.... why they were the way they were... and what I can do differently.

In a long roundabout way I'm saying in order to be able to identify my own anger, face it and all of its triggers, I had to understand why it was there deep down in the first place. Hope this makes sense and isn't too long-winded.

Finding one's voice (like learning to say "No, sorry I can't do that" or "I'm sorry but that doesn't work for me" etc etc has helped me learn to defuse the anger. Anger for me is the "warning light flashing on the dashboard of my life".... it tells me I feel threatened in some way (real or imagined sometimes) and that there is something I need to take the time to look at or attend to.

Take care. Kim :)

i always had the feeling that anger was a bad emotion to have so i usually stuff my anger, but that's never good......i find that writing really helps.....i also use a stressball when i'm angry.....the thing that really makes me feel better though is listening to avril lavine.....or anything with electric guitar.....avril lavine sings the song "girlfriend".....it's a great song and just listening to the guitar makes me feel better.......when that doesn't work-which isn't often-i try to relax....i usually journal and then do some deep breathing....talking about it with someone helps too....i hope this helped.......if you wanna talk, please feel free to message me

thanks a lot you guys. I really appreciate the advice. I know at times I can be really afraid to have a voice and stand up for myself. Then other times I'm afraid I'm making too much of a big deal out of things and to just let it go. I struggle with finding which of the 2 I need to do or not do. Something to work on. I need to find a balance I guess.