Dont worry; most of the people with digestion problems get this feeling. An excellent remedy for the digestive system is chamomile tea. Have you ever tried it? You could also try eating the chamomile flowers after you've brewed your tea instead of simply throwing them in the trash or garden. Youll see, after a week or few days, your pain will be reduced and youll feel better.

Its not that I'm having digestion problems, its that my mind just can't handle myself with all the guilt and shame that I have eaten anything, so I just get it out of me however I can. I feel so fat already and having to maintain living by eating food, it haunts me. I feel so hideous and ugly.

Honey, I just read your profile. It sounds like you are in real trouble again here. Have you talked to your mom or whoever cares for you? Have you seen your doctor? Does anyone know that you are struggling this much right now? You are so young...you need adults to look out for you and help you through these tough times. Message me privately and let me try to help you. You can get through this...believe in yourself. It will be a lot of hard work but you can do it...you need to work with your team.

Please try not to beat yourself up. This is a complicated illness and you need loads of support. Hopefully the board will help you. There are many caring people here. I feel you can turn things around with the right professional support. You are young and you and only you have control. Believe in yourself. Love yourself. You are worth it. Your doctors will give you some ideas of things to try. Let us know how you are. Lots of hugs. Stay strong.

Thankyou so much. I've been feeling so alone. I don't have a treating team, they were pretty much useless, did nothing and didn't even talk to me after my last admission into hospital inpatient treatment. For a while I thought I was over this all, and I was 'moving on' with my life. Then it just all started to go downhill from there. It's almost like I don't want to give up the illness, like I'm nothing without it, although I feel like nothing with it as well. But you guys are so nice to have replied and I hope that maybe just time, if not anything else, will get some of these things away.

It is my underatanding that it is common to have periods of recovery and periods of relapse. You have gotten youself through other rough patches so you will have to latch on to the belief that you are in control. Its ok if you have a bad day sometimes. Even a bad period of time but at least you are making an effort. I know it makea you feel safe but you know that is only a trap. Always questions the voices that tell you not to recover. They are dark and must be muted. I believe in you. And i know you believe in yourself too. Someday you will look back and you will see how far you have come. Recovery for your age range is very high. Keep fighting. Life is beautiful and worth living.

I can relate to the ambivalence...it is so horrible but there is a tiny little piece that wants to hang on...it is the control piece. In reality, though, we really have no control when we are in our eating disorder...it completely controls us and that is no fun at all. It seems like your treatment team was not helpful. Try to work on getting a new one that will be helpful. You need a good nutritionist, a therapist, and a doctor...but they need to be on your side and they need to care about you and want to help you. You are a fighter and you are a survivor. I private messaged you. Hang in there, sweetie!!