Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
this feels wierd...
Current mood: indescribable
Category: Food and Restaurants
hey guys-as you know, i have not binged for 16 days. i should be happy about it, but i'm not. in an odd, backwards, way, i'm sad. it's almost like i actually MISS binging. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!! what person in their right mind would MISS gorging themselves, and then having horrible painful stomach cramps. then, feeling emotionally and physically in pain afterward. i should feel GREAT about this. this is the longest i've gone without binging. previously, my record was a week. this is not fair. why do i feel this way? it's almost like i don't feel "normal", because i'm not eating constantly. i know that sounds insane, but it's the truth.
i'm also nervous because kayla was insisting on having sweets in the house. so dad went and got ice cream and cake. i didn't think much of the ice cream at first because i can't have it anyway. but dad was trying to be nice and bought a lactose-free carton of vanilla ice cream for me.... it was really sweet of him, but now i'm scared. the cake is chocolate. chocolate is my weakness. i didn't eat much of my dinner, and dad didn't understand why. i didn't know how to tell him. he knows about my food addiction, but then he doesn't at the same time. he knows, but i think he just brushed it off. it's not that he doesn't care, he does. but i don't know if he knows how to help me. and i don't know what to tell him either. please keep praying for me. i love you.-fallon
Current mood: indescribable
Category: Food and Restaurants
hey guys-as you know, i have not binged for 16 days. i should be happy about it, but i'm not. in an odd, backwards, way, i'm sad. it's almost like i actually MISS binging. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!! what person in their right mind would MISS gorging themselves, and then having horrible painful stomach cramps. then, feeling emotionally and physically in pain afterward. i should feel GREAT about this. this is the longest i've gone without binging. previously, my record was a week. this is not fair. why do i feel this way? it's almost like i don't feel "normal", because i'm not eating constantly. i know that sounds insane, but it's the truth.
i'm also nervous because kayla was insisting on having sweets in the house. so dad went and got ice cream and cake. i didn't think much of the ice cream at first because i can't have it anyway. but dad was trying to be nice and bought a lactose-free carton of vanilla ice cream for me.... it was really sweet of him, but now i'm scared. the cake is chocolate. chocolate is my weakness. i didn't eat much of my dinner, and dad didn't understand why. i didn't know how to tell him. he knows about my food addiction, but then he doesn't at the same time. he knows, but i think he just brushed it off. it's not that he doesn't care, he does. but i don't know if he knows how to help me. and i don't know what to tell him either. please keep praying for me. i love you.-fallon
You are a princess in Gods kingdom.
Do you know who mother Theresa Was? When she first started her mission in Calcutta her beds were all full many sleeping in the halls. that evening walking home she found two brothers very ill with flu. they were starving burning up with fever lying in the gutter. She had nowhere to bring them. She sat with them encouraging them to hold on one more night. She asked them if they believed in God. When they said yes she took there hands and said do you believe God is everywhere? They weakly nodded their heads she said pointing to the palm of their hands that if god was everywhere than He was right there in their hand and all they needed to do has hold on to Him. They lived and both went on to become educated one a priest the other a Doctor they still work in her missions in Calcutta. So hold on Fallon hold on.
As for why a part of you misses it ... I think that's pretty normal; I miss it too when I go for a long period without it. Even though it makes us sick and feel like crap about ourselves, bingeing (and other ed behaviors) also serves some purpose in our lives, or we wouldn't keep doing it. Have you thought about what bingeing does for you? Relieve anxiety, provide entertainment or an escape, cheer you up when you're sad ... it can be many things. If you think about this, it may help you identify other, more healthy ways to get those needs met. It isn't easy, but it may help.
Ali