Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
I have been in hospitals over a year now and I am losing weight in hospital Iam 12kg less now than when I was admitted over a year ago my weight has been up and down mainly down coz when I put on weight I freak out and lose it again and then I lose more than I gained to feel better I had excepted that I had a problem and needed help but I gained 0.4 last week because I was ng fed and it totally freaked me out I am off the tube for now but if I lose weight or refuse meal replacement drinks they will ng feed me again I have felt huge the past few days I was totally convinced I had gained about 5kg but I was spot weighed this morning and I am still the same weight as I was at the beginning of the week this is driving me mad because i feel really fat and can see how fat I look it has a real grip on me and I don't think anyone can do anything to help I cant deal with the thoughts in my head and the voice screaming at me telling me how fat I will be if I drink these drinks I do everything I can to get rid of it I dont always get away with it but sometimes I do I dont want to be like this but they say I don't see myself as everyone else sees me my bmi is 13 all the evidence suggests that I am underweight exept how I look (in my eyes) and feel but I cant ignore the voice and all the thoughts I have I am terrified of gaining weight but if I lose again I will be back on the tube and my diet plan will go up which also terrifys me im so scared of everything at the moment I don't know what to do
valgal18
i'm so sorry that you're struggling.....it sounds like ED is really messing with your mind....something that helped ME when ED was screwing with my mind was i wrote 2 letters to ED....1 about why i wanted him to stay and 1 about why i wanted him to leave.....the one where i wrote about why i wanted him to leave was longer.....i know it's hard to ignore ED or push away the voices, but ED is a bully, an abuser and doesn't deserve your time......i know that you're in the hospital and i would recommend asking to talk to your therapist-if you have one there-about this...maybe ask some other people how they battle the voices....i hope this helped.....if you wanna talk, i'm here
nobody000
Thank you I have recently been moved to a different hospital because the one I was in didn't do ng feeds I am due to start seeing a new therapist on Monday then i am seeing another one next week as well hopefully I will get somewhere because I can't stand this anymore
deleted_user
It can be very hard to see ourselves as others see us. A friend of mine suggested doing the A&G's (acknowledgements and gratitudes). A person starts with just five or as many as she can think of things that she did that day. Things can be I drank my milk on the tray. I got out of bed this morning. I combed my hair. I looked into my eyes. The gratitudes can be things such as: I am grateful that I am trying to get better. I am grateful for those trying to help me. It gives a place to start building a person up. Even if a person can't get past that one last inch of flesh on the hips it can help by giving something else to focus on, breaking the obsessions.
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