Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
Hi everyone I'm new here. I have never posted to any groups before, or have ever talked about my ED to anyone other than very very vaguely to my husband. He is very supportive of me and getting help. I have 3 kids that are our world. Which makes me guilty knowing what I'm doing is killing me. I decided to tell my doctor about it and she offered to get me in touch with a man from her church who could help but I regret telling her and want to back out..but if I do I will die. I am so tired of living this way. I have both bulimia and anorexia. I fast until I can't take it anymore, binge, then purge once to twice daily..then repeat. I hate everything about me..I'm losing about a pound a day and in constant pain..I have been this way as far as I can remeber. What should I do? Should I back out of a one on one with someone who can help and just stick with this online group? I fake being just fine when I'm with my kids with the help of Redbulls and coffee..I love my family more than words could ever express and I am going to be there for them no matter what!! I am just so terrified at the thought of talking to someone I don't know about this. I don't open up about myself to people ever..writing this is giving me a panic attack even. I am desperate for help..I feel so disgusting, alone and ashamed.
Feeling disgusting, alone and ashamed are all emotions commonly felt by people with EDs. All of those emotions also help fuel the cycle of disordered eating so it's imperative that you try and move past those feelings (easier said than done, I get it). You are not alone here - there are many people that totally understand what you are going through and will support you without judgement or criticism.
I do know that the more support you can get when trying to recover from an ED the better your chance of success is. I think you should give this man that your doctor is going to set you up with a shot AND continue coming here for support. It's never easy to open up to complete strangers about our issues but once you move past the uncomfortableness of it, it will likely be the best thing you ever did. There is such a feeling of freedom that comes with disclosure and it takes those feeling of shame and secrecy away.
HUGE HUGS
Jen
*Hugs*