Eating Disorders Support Group

Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.

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Mental Health
/ Eating Disorders Support Group

Enablers?

MermaidSinger
MermaidSinger
Hello everyone! I just had a question about those people in your life that seem to always up your eating disorder. I have a friend who also has an ED and whenever I talk to her it is always with meesages of positivity and recovery and inspiration, even if at the moment I don't believe those things, I try to give my support. But she always replies with how much weight she has lost or what methods she is using. I want recovery, she wants to wallow.
But I love her dearly, so much more than I can articulate! The only thing is, it is detrimental to my health? Any ideas on how to maintain the realtionship and help her while staying on the right road myself? I want to save her!

Megan
deleted_user
deleted_user
Think of the lifeguard analogy: Who should save a drowning person? Certainly not someone who can't swim very well themselves. It puts both people at risk of drowning! Let a professional "save" your friend.

Remember that someone can be a good person, but be harming you. You have the right to set limits about what conversation is appropriate. You have the right to say you will be supportive, but not spend time with your friend if it's hurting your recovery.

It sounds cliche, but if she's a true friend, she'll want you to succeed.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Love and care in your safety zone. Meaning, you don't have to cut ties, but don't let her status be detrimental to your recovery. Set the bars to your comfort level. Good luck.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I suggest being patient with her. You can want desperately to help someone but until that person is ready. In the meantime you do need to protect yourself too. No need to be rude or harsh. Just steer the convo in a different direction if you can, and if not? Cut the visit short with a kind excuse.

Perhaps even arrange to have someone call you when you know you are going to be with her to see how you are doing and give you a potential out.