Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
I have not been on DS for quite some time. I entered an IOP treatement program that was 3 night per week for about the past 5 months. I just "graduated" a few weeks ago. Upon my meeting with my treatment team, they unanimously recommended and encouraged that I go into a residential program. I have just not been able to increase my calories much or decrease my exercise. I have slowly brought my weight up to just barely "normal" for my height. I have no support system outside of the group and now that is over. My family is so excited that I completed the program and they just knew I could do it. They don't understand that I "failed". I am frustrated with myself and I know that everyone wants me to stop exercising and calorie counting, weighing myself, etc. But I know that this is what will keep me with the physique that I have and I have to be honest, I love it. I am a bodybuilder and I have worked hard to get where I am at and I don't want to lose it. I'm not ready to put away the weights and say good bye to my muscles. I don't want to want this anymore. But I love excercising. I know that it is an addiction. It is also very rewarding to have people come up to me at the gym and compliment me and some have even told me what an inspiration I am to them and how I can lift more than some of the guys. THis is great, but ED eats it up.
I guess I am just wondering if anyone can relate. Any advice on how to learn to let go of this part of my life?
I guess I am just wondering if anyone can relate. Any advice on how to learn to let go of this part of my life?
deleted_user
You didn't fail. You just didn't achieve as much as you wanted or needed to be in recovery. You should share this with your family because they will realize it sooner or later anyway. I hate all the expectations people have on us after coming out of treatment. Is residential an option for you. I know it's outrageously expensive but maybe you could go IP. Sorry you are so down on yourself.
deleted_user
I agree with Karrin!!! You should try and share with your family... I know its hard... I totally understand the exercise and giving up what you have worked so hard for...I am at that same point..I have to give up racing this year, because of my treatment team(which I am thankful for)..and right now still having a hard time with the transition of it..and not sure how strong i will be when the time actually comes.. But you didn't fail...and you are NOT alone! Hang in there
deleted_user
I too do not thing that you failed. you did the treatment and you took all those steps and that is so commendable. i know how you feel about the exersize addiction and not wanting to give that up but at some point for myself i want to find a happy medium with my gym workouts and body so i dont have to be so obsessed and overwhelmed but it; and that it takes over other things in life that i keep missing out on
deleted_user
I am so proud of you for the good progress that you HAVE made! Gaining weight is extremely difficult! I can hardly imagine how much courage that took for you... I've since gained weight from when I struggled most with my anorexia (I was 122 pounds)... And I absolutely know... Without a shred of doubt... That I am so much healtheir for making the brave choice to start enjoying my meals... :) I went from living on egg whites and veggies to embracing all different kinds of foods. I went from being an absolute slave to running and working out... To now, taking long, leisurely walks in the woods... Healing will take time... But I PROMISE YOU... You can do it. Just take baby steps. One foot in front of the other!!! AND YOU WILL GET THERE! :D
deleted_user
you should be proud of yourself for completing the programme. as for the over-exercise - if you cut it down gradually - you will still see the benefits, it will probably show you that too much exercise desn't do any good to your body. always here if you need to talk x
zopta3
We love you and yes you have succeeded in various ways.
mybeach
Thank you all so much for your support. I know that I put on more expectations on myself and I am my worst critic. Thanks to all for the confidence in me. IP/residential is not an option but I am not going to let that derail my recovery. I going to keep trying everyday!
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