Eating Disorders Support Group

Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.

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Mental Health
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Chew and Spit... me too, HELP!

mybeach
mybeach
Thank you for the previous post on this issue and intheblues I do appreciate your response. I am getting very obsessed with c/s, even to the point that I am beginning to plan my foods. I am orthorexic/ anorexic so I obsess about making sure the food is "clean" and organic. Usually I c/d raw nuts, organic cereal, etc. I am paranoid that anything too soft or that melts will be absorbed through the inside of my mouth and that I will absorb calories so I won't eat it. I c/s at night until my jaw aches (after my daughter goes to bed). I want to be able to stop but I love the taste of the food and since my caloric intake is so low, this seems to hold off the hunger. I know that my issues with food is becoming an eating disorder but I have been so adamant about health and clean eating and exercise that I am afraid that if I tell anyone, they will think that I am a hipocrite. I love my body- thin and muscular. But I know that I am borderline too thin and will become unhealthy... help!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Why thank you, I guess once in a while I do get through to some people at times. If you go to a doctor, can't you tell them? I am SURE you can actually EAT those foods and stick to your "safe foods" and actually have them in your system. Does that even make sense? Sometimes, we need that fear of telling someone, to actually go and get the help that we actually do need, professional help. Ultimately, you'll have to get to the roots of the "whys", but it's not an unduable task. Keep your head up. You've already made a HUGE step coming on here and talking about it.
mybeach
mybeach
Thank you so much for your support. I actually did recently go to the doctor and was kind of hoping she would bring up eating disorders. Instead, she totally reinforced me. She was very complimentary on my weight loss and body fat % drop. I have never been overweight but she knows me and how much I work for good health. She just advised me to try to bring my body fat up a bit. She never even addressed my weight which is about 16 lbs below "normal". I was surprised but very happy. But I am smart enough to know that I can't stop. Problem is I am not in a place that I want to stop. I don't want to gain weight. I love being "a bit too skinny" as most say. Since I started c/s it all is becoming too easy to stay this way. I know this will destroy my health. I don't have any friends, a lot of acquaintances. I apprecaite being able to post.
deleted_user
deleted_user
hummm well do you love being a bit too skinny MORE than you hate your behaviors??

Im so sorry you are struggling. your post made me sooo sad. Im sure your doc has no idea what you are doing or how bad it is affecting you.

imagine a night without C/S?? imagine being free and not obsessed with food and weight... imagine your daughter and how bad this is for her... even if she doesnt see the behaviors, you will be passing this on to her, i promise you....

i wish you were in a place to want to get better.... what are you waiting for?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Can I just tell you how much I despise a doctor that doesn't know anything about ED's nor how to communicate properly with their patients that clearly suffer from them? I can relate to being "happy", I won't lie. As difficult as this is, just a suggestion, what about possibly just thinking each time, how much this is deminishing time with your daughter. Not just health wise either, I am talking about all the time, effort and energy being put into the ED and behaviours. I know it's hard, I have to do this when I am struggling big time and I think of my husband. Just trying to throw some ideas out there that may help you. Posting is a good step, finding a doc that knows what the hell they are talking about should be the next (smile- I know, I am pushing it)... Keep your head up.
mybeach
mybeach
Thank you so much for your posts. Being able to discuss these issues and get support really has helped me to see that I do have a problem and that it will lead to worse situations. My daughter is my world and I am focusing on doing best by her and remembering that I must take care of myself too. I didn't c/s after dinner last night. I ate my regular snack, read my book and went to sleep! I c/s after lunch today but I am not giving up that I can resist tonight. Thanks again for the support!
deleted_user
deleted_user
WAHOO! Steps in the right direction! This is great to hear!