Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
So I am a fitness instructor (I know, so not the kind of person who should be telling people to be healthy...!) Anyway, after my classes tonight where I burned almost 900cals, I had the urge to binge and take laxatives but I didn't want to ruin all the hard work I had just put in so instead I went to the shop and bought bread, Nutella and lots of cakes and I chewed and spit them all out and it felt really good because it was like binging but none of the calories were going into me, so I'm basically still starving myself but getting the satisfaction from the taste. I know this isn't good and it is still fuelling the disorder but I don't know how else to cope with the feelings of wanting to binge/purge? There is nothing in my life that gives me the satisfaction like that does but I wish there was. I wish I wasn't constantly thinking about food and what I can/can't eat and what I need to purge and when I need to purge. It's all so exhausting.
Your just struggling to cope with your own health but that doesn't mean you don't know what's right and wrong.
If I bought bread and cake their is no way I'd be able to spit it out
Sound like we are extremely opposite so I'm thinking we could help each other,
Maybe each fifth chew you could swallow? Or come up with a number that's comfortable for you?
I have learned that ED's are coping mechanisms we use so we don't have to feel. For many of us (probably all of us) have traumatic pasts where it was not safe to show/express our feelings. Since we couldn't express our feelings we kept them inside and then created different coping mechanisms so we didn't have to feel - An ED is one of those coping methods (also drugs, alcohol, cutting...are all examples of coping mechanisms). This is why when we are extremely stressed and feeling intense feelings we turn to our coping mechanism to relieve the stress. We use our coping mechanism, push our feelings away and feel better for about 2 minutes (maybe 3 if we are lucky).
I would urge you to consider working with a therapist. If you have a traumatic past a good therapist will be able to help you heal your past as well as help you heal the ED. Many programs will only attempt to heal the ED and will not look deeper to try to find the root cause of WHY you developed the ED in the first place. I feel it's so important to heal both your past and the ED so you have complete healing. And with complete healing you will not 'need' a coping mechanism. You can heal and you deserve to heal.