ajlesse, im sorry that you are having a difficult time. But, you are not alone my friend. Have you tried a few small meals a day as our mind and the body needs nourishment to function properly. I also have depression and anxiety and have learned how to control it naturally with limited meds and limited counseling. Many people struggle with low self esteem and eating disorders. Focus my friend on things that are positive, things that you are good at. everyone was made with a positive trait. You area worth more than what you give yourself credit for. Believe in yourself.

Cielo77, such great words you shared. Thank you. Per my therapist I gave just begun trying to eat 3times a day. It's a struggle but I'm giving it my best. Thanks again and hugs

Hi ajleese, I was in my E.D. 4 at least 17 years, I've been in recovery 4 about 11 months. My weight has shot up 70 lbs from my average of 79 lbs. At 1st I gained 35 lbs in 17 days, then 10 lbs in 1st week home and my wt has been averaging about 3 to 5 lbs per month(I'm guessing). I'm only 5'4" and weigh 149.8 lbs. I'm hoping w/everything in me that it has finally plateaued. I have never relapsed. Cuz of all the research I've done 4 the last 10 months, I know if I relapse and start recovery all over again, I'm gonna gain all this wt. plus more. To me I look on the beginning side of obese. I hate it, but I'm determined to completely recover. From all the research I've done, my wt. will plateau 4 a while and then w/o changing what I eat my wt will slowly come down.
I wrote all this to hopefully encourage u to stop the E.D. and trust your body. U need to eat as much as u can w/o stuffing yourself. The wt u gain is to help your body heal itself. I know it is extremely hard. I recommend that u eat a Whole Food Plant Based (W.F.P.B.) Diet w/o restriction and limit any refined or processed vegan foods. It will slow down the weight u gain. There r 1000's of youtube videos on the subject of E.D. recovery and W.F.P.B. Vegan lifestyles. There r 100's of videos on how u get enuf protein, calcium, and iron and any other nutrients on a W.F.P.B. Vegan life style. This way of eating is sustainable. There is no other way of eating that is. "Damn the diets". That is what leads to E.D.'s
I truly hope I helped in some way. Remember I'm only recommending the W.F.P,B. vegan lifestyle. Whatever way of eating is your choice. No judgments here. I've been praying 4 u since I read your post 4 days ago and for God to help me reply to your post and I will continue praying 4 u. God bless u super big time w/happy blessings.

P.S. A good video to start with is "H.O.P.E. What You Eat Matters" on youtube. I think it is a documentary. It is over an hour long. So if u r very busy u could watch 15 minutes at a time. Then there r videos on how to transition to a Vegan life style and all kinds of videos on this subject.