Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
My last day of work in a temp position is today. I'm ok with it even though I made some friends. I've made my peace with it. When I go home I will have time alone. No kids or husband. This is usually prime time to binge/purge. I would plan out everything. I'm trying to think of other ways to pass time or even enjoy the time alone. I know I need to take a hot bath because after my run this running this morning, my muscles are sore. I am tired of giving in to ED. I just want to tell it to F*** off. My family and friends love me no matter what weight I am. Why can't I? My therapist said I should practice "re-framing" thoughts. Positive thoughts that you repeat to yourself every day and one day you will start to believe them. She said to write them down and put them somewhere you can see them every day. On the bathroom mirror, your car..I'm trying it. It's difficult because the voice of ED seems to be engrained in my head. I want to replace it with truth.
For me its important to avoid overload. It your threshold for overload is lower than average this isnt easy.
Do you have another job to go to or are you in a period of unemployment? In looking for another job think carefully about how the job suits not only your academic or practical skill but also how it fits in with your personality and emotional life. (((( ))))
I'm hoping it's a good fit if the salary is acceptable. Thanks Kathy!
I may not be the right person to give anyone advice about working since Im a total flop myself. A piece of theoretical advice anyway - its tempting in the beginning to show how enthusiastic and capable you are. Thats fine up to a point but dont forget to show your boundaries too. Dont cut corners on coffee breaks and lunch breaks and find a way to say "Ive enough on my plate right now".
Enjoy your week off!
Your work/life situation is intense. Also having worked as a PA temp in the past I can relate to that situation. Always starting a new assignment... then just getting into the groove... then it would end... and the next new one would start. Very stressful in and of itself for you!
We struggle with the self-love (even in the face of the love of others for us) because deep down I think we truly believe we are not worthy of love or comfort or acceptance. That's been my experience anyways. That voice of the ED you talk about is, I've found, actually my self-talk which comes from the deep subconscious and is rooted in early/even traumatic memories. Changing the self-talk actually means learning to think in a whole NEW way and it's a long, slow process BUT is possible. I try to identify the "stinking thoughts" one at a time as they pop up, and only try to work on one at a time. I may write down my focus "toxic" thought for the week (sometimes! and not perfectly) e.g. "I'm worthless... or I'm ugly... " etc then I challenge it and write out a challenging statement (the truth) to counter it. Reflecting on this during the week and challenging that toxic voice bit by bit has helped me quite a lot. Maybe try it? Take care and hope the job situation works out for you. Kim :)