Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
I've been calling myself "Big Mamma" this past year, I'm not sure why... Just in a joking manner, as in, it's the screenname of my Mii (avatar) on the Wii, or I refer to myself as Big Mamma to my kids, as in, "Don't you mess with Big Mamma!" I'm at 10 months recovery from binge/purge bulimia and alcoholism. I haven't gained all that much weight, a little for sure, right around the middle, but I'm just... I'm OKAY with it, I even JOKE a little about it with my husband! It helps that he's supportive and doesn't really care about it, he's one of the good ones...
I've always been a small, sorta "uptight" little white woman, is the problem I think. I admire the self-confidence and the body-acceptance of black women, women of color, ohhhhhh crap I'm trying to be all P.C.... I mean even Italian women, Mediteranean... I'm sorry, I don't mean to generalize or stereotype, I'm not like that, but I don't know how else to convey this... I've always admired the women of other cultures, for their positive body images... I want that for myself and for my sisters!
I joked with my husband this morning, as I finished off the serving bowl of FRIED POTATOES from breakfast, I said, Hon, I'm thinking I'm entering my "chubby phase", I said, what would you think of that, if I just sorta got all big, and... just happy with myself? He laughed at me and said "More cushion for the pushin'", which should tell you a lot about my husband.
I don't know what I'm doing. These thoughts might be healthy for all I know. Or I may be toying with...disaster... I don't know, I'm eating so much lately, especially with the holidays, it's like I'm binging without the purging. I don't have any thoughts of purging, but I have these thoughts like, what would it be like to be... round, to have round hips, would I carry myself differently, would I fit in more with other women, would I be more accepted by them, would I be more comfortable with myself... Would I be softer? Would I be more... I don't know, would kids like me more?
I'm weird right now. THese are strange thoughts. I used to be so focused on the scale, and on my waistline, and now I'm... changing...
Anyone else ever have thoughts like this?
I've always been a small, sorta "uptight" little white woman, is the problem I think. I admire the self-confidence and the body-acceptance of black women, women of color, ohhhhhh crap I'm trying to be all P.C.... I mean even Italian women, Mediteranean... I'm sorry, I don't mean to generalize or stereotype, I'm not like that, but I don't know how else to convey this... I've always admired the women of other cultures, for their positive body images... I want that for myself and for my sisters!
I joked with my husband this morning, as I finished off the serving bowl of FRIED POTATOES from breakfast, I said, Hon, I'm thinking I'm entering my "chubby phase", I said, what would you think of that, if I just sorta got all big, and... just happy with myself? He laughed at me and said "More cushion for the pushin'", which should tell you a lot about my husband.
I don't know what I'm doing. These thoughts might be healthy for all I know. Or I may be toying with...disaster... I don't know, I'm eating so much lately, especially with the holidays, it's like I'm binging without the purging. I don't have any thoughts of purging, but I have these thoughts like, what would it be like to be... round, to have round hips, would I carry myself differently, would I fit in more with other women, would I be more accepted by them, would I be more comfortable with myself... Would I be softer? Would I be more... I don't know, would kids like me more?
I'm weird right now. THese are strange thoughts. I used to be so focused on the scale, and on my waistline, and now I'm... changing...
Anyone else ever have thoughts like this?
maybe this is your way of accepting yourself a tiny bit heavier. i think its good thing....
just be careful not to let weight define you in any way....
I'm glad you have such an awesome husband. I have one of those too and thank my lucky stars.
That is a miracle and keep on keeping on..
I too am recovering alcoholic, Addict, and bulimic, but I also have years of restricting.. SO it is a process.
I dont know if you have a 12 step centered alcohol recovery. Do you?
I started in AA, and got a strong foundation then now use the steps for food. I go to OA and it works for me, and if you already have a history in recovery, you will probably meet alot of recovering alcoholics in OA...When I finally went to OA, I was surprised at all the people I seen from the AA rooms.
With me, I switched my obsession from alcohol, and then it became food..
SO I know practice the recovery principles with food and have a special sponsor and a plan of recovery I follow daily and I been 3 months free from Compulsive eating. I of course keep my alcohol and AA first and foremost but for me it is all tied together, still trying to fill a need with a substance...
I pray daily, I share a food plan with a sponsor, and I practice the 12 steps which keep me free from too much negative emotions that I binge over..If you want to know any further, feel free to contact, I am so happy to finally have my relationship with food restored to sanity,, I would love to share some Hope with you if you chose to consider this path...feel free to write