In an effort to rebuild a relationship with my 23 yr old daughter, who moved back home after being estranged from us for 2 years.. I confided in her, I told her I had lived for 30 years in secret with bulimia and binge drinking.. In order to give her hope for recovery, I shared my most painful, most humiliating secrets, and yet, the thing I am MOST PROUD OF!! I have 3 1/2 years sober and free from my eating disorder! I quit a 30 year disorder plus co-occurring alcohol abuse COLD TURKEY. Just quit. I didn't use medication, although it was prescribed by my doctor. I gathered my resources and tools, which I chose journaling, Dailystrength support groups, meditation, and peer support, along with checking in with my therapist on occasion. Those were my tools, and I continue to work them when needed to maintain my wellness. I also got a job working with other people with mental health issues, for the first time in my life, I have a JOB and a desk and people who rely on me, and find strength and hope in working with me! It's an awesome feeling to be giving back, and it's a huge part of long-term recovery..

But what I didn't choose to do is tell every single person in my family about the eating disorder. It's easier to tell complete strangers about it, in fact, I volunteer at a local rehab, where I speak to 60 or 70 people at a time about my eating disorder and alcohol abuse! I also told my family doctor, my physical doctor, so he would have it on record now, and so it would be part of my physical health history, and so I would be more accountable on it. I told my mom, and I told most of my women friends. I told my employer, and since part of my job is to share my recovery story, I tell clients too! I'm not exactly in hiding any more.

But I did not tell my best friend in the whole world. And I did not tell my husband! I don't know how to explain it, but it's just so humiliating to know that they will look at you and think back to all those years... It's crushing to think of. I told them about the alcohol, but not the bulimia. I'm not sure when or if ever I would chose to have that conversation... it was just something I didn't find I needed to do at this time, if ever.

And yet, my daughter, in an effort to deflect us all from addressing HER addictions (I won't "out" her here, but she has trauma, mental health and addiction issues), she decided to "out" me with my husband and extended family, by claiming that I need to address my 30 year eating disorder, because that is WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!! She OUTED me!! She took something that I told her in confidence, she took something that is actually a huge strength of mine, and used it as a weapon. Is how I feel. I feel betrayed, and I feel like everything I've done for my recovery is being overlooked. I feel the sudden need to explain and defend myself! I resent being forced to have these conversations right this minute, at someone else's discretion, when it was MY illness, and MY recovery, and MY decision when and with whom to talk about this.

My daughter is very sick and very sad, and has burnt bridges every where she goes. Most people look at me with sadness and pity after they have let her stay with them for a week or so... They hug me and say they will pray for me!!! She needs help, and does not accept anything from me. Nothing. And yet I'm the person she keeps coming back to. And then she slashes me again.

I'm venting here, thanks for reading if you made it this far, it's so hard to explain this complex situation... But I originally came here to ask for your perspectives on this: What do you think about someone "outing" you? And do you find it easier to talk to friends and total strangers about it, than those closest to you?