why does it have to be so hard. either i am restricting, bingeing,or purging.why cant i be normal.why moderation is such a big deal for us.what have i gotten myself into.i feel good when i am in control and when i give in and binge i feel like i have betrayed myself. i feel so ashamed and alienated all the time. i havnt even told my boyfriend about this not that he wont understand me but i dont want him to see the weak side of me.this kind of behavior could be a symptom of an underlying disease, i might be anti social or even depressed. i have not consulted anyone about this as i dont want some stranger to judge me. reaching for help seems impossible. may be its just the way i am. having normal eating habits seems abnormal to me.
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