Eating Disorders Support Group

Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.

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all or nothing

culdesac
culdesac
why does it have to be so hard. either i am restricting, bingeing,or purging.why cant i be normal.why moderation is such a big deal for us.what have i gotten myself into.i feel good when i am in control and when i give in and binge i feel like i have betrayed myself. i feel so ashamed and alienated all the time. i havnt even told my boyfriend about this not that he wont understand me but i dont want him to see the weak side of me.this kind of behavior could be a symptom of an underlying disease, i might be anti social or even depressed. i have not consulted anyone about this as i dont want some stranger to judge me. reaching for help seems impossible. may be its just the way i am. having normal eating habits seems abnormal to me.
ImpulsiveREtardednes
ImpulsiveREtardednes
But you do want/are looking for some sort of help After all, you did post here. Asking why it's so hard. There are several reason why people develop EDs. SEVERAL!!!! Sometimes it can be due to stress, lots of the time our eating patterns change because of depression, anxiety(which normally go hand-in-hand with depression), it could also be something altogether. Hidden memories of traumas you've never dealt with.

However, LOTS of people go to strangers and get consulted. Most people with EDs, believe they're being judged. However, 3 of the most common illnesses/disorders are 1. Depression, 2. Post-Traumatic Stress and 3. Eating Disorders. YOU won't be judged. Helped...yes. Judged...no. That's not what a councilor, therapist, nutritionist or psychologist is there for. If they DO judge you, then you need to get a DIFFERENT one, because they're not very good.

I do hope that you start to feel better about yourself, and I do hope that you learn that you may think you're hiding your disorder...but in reality...you're not. You're lying to yourself, and TRYING to hide it from others...but they can see it. Trust me on this.
culdesac
culdesac
i dont know.i am not that vocal about my feelings. i'd rather hide away my feelings than speak up. besides i have i long history of mental illnesses in my family. my mom has clinical depression and my brother is bipolar. apparently i am the 'normal one'. and comparing to their problems bulimia seems to be not that big of a deal. so i might just have to live with it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Your mother's depression may be causing you some depression as well because it's the way that mom just isn't able to give you what you need in the way of emotional support and that leaves you starving in that regard.

It may be that your acting out the way things are happening in your emotional life.
culdesac
culdesac
couldn agree with you more.indeed my mothers depression and my family issues have everything to do with my ED.i was neglected as a child and never did receive motherly love or any kind of love for that matter.so obviously i were to develop some kind of disorder.