Hi, and welcome back. I know how it can be heavy and discouraging, but it is a daily thing,
Just hold on to the faith and know that you overcame before and can do it again.
I dont know if you have a plan, but for me it is vital I have a mentor, or if you will sponsor, and I pray daily for strength to follow my food plan.
The most important thing is to know you are not a loser for falling back into it, and just get up.
I cant eat certain trigger foods that I know I binge on and expel with ease.... these I abstain from.. I also had to tell myself when I feel that Full thing in my gut, that I dont have to expel. and I amnot what I feel!.feeling full does not mean fat!!! I have to tell myself that..

But ether way. ....... dont look back at the fall ...if you choose to look back ....look back at the period of success and trust you can gt back up and going forward.
I do practice spiritual recovery which for me is working .. It is not based on weight or not but on the insane relationship with food we have, I could never get any real time free, but I am today through OA and the 12 steps. it works for me, and many others, some swear by it some reject it, but if you want to talk feel free to write.

You are going forward! today is a new day! You can rise above this , and Keep hope alive..
as far as strength goes, this is a paradox..... when I admit I am weak and cant, I actually gain strength to go on and ask for help and recover. So admitting you aren't strong enough maybe a great starting point on a new road. When I surrendered my relationship with food, and admitted I wasnt strong enough, I gained a power I never had.. Bless you and glad you are here...
You can do this and you are worth it!

that everything has come back is so tough. you sound like you must be very strong to have been better. Did you do this alone?
Can you think of anything that has happened resently that has made you feel the same as before? Are you under a lot of stress at the moment.
It sounds like you need support and we are here for you

Fisrt of all you are strong enough, you came here and are reaching out, that shows incredible strength.
Second of all you are not alone and everyone here can offer you some great advice. Take what works and leave the rest. You dont have to go through this alone!

You can do it again because you have done it before. It might seem impossible especially since you have so many ED behaviors you are dealing with. But just take one day at a time, one meal at a time. Then it might not seem quite so overwhelming. I believe in you.

Karrin is right you can do it again, you have done it before. you have support here and we really are here when you need us. Have some faith in YOU and know that you've beaten this thing back before...you can do it again. Take it a bit at a time.

Don't look on it as losing a year and a half. It sounds as though something may have triggered it and if you can identify the source of that you are half way thru the battle. I agree with other posts, one day at a time, one meal at a time and one minute at a time if necessary. Finally, OA has really worked for me and I'm just wondering if there are meetings near you.