So I had been maintaining my weight for over 3 months which is the longest ever for me and was healthy and everything. Then I started participating in my musical at school. It is a dance heavy musical and I am dancing around 10 hours a week, and some of it is tap so it's extra intense. I thought I was able to eat enough to make-up for the exercise but I didn't and lost weight. I was at the bottom of my healthy weight range and so I dropped out of it by a couple pounds my dietician told me. She said if I lost weight again this week (I have an appointment with her tomorrow) we'd have to talk, and she "didn't want to have to send me back to treatment"! I want this musical so much!!!!! It's the only thing right now that makes me happy, light up, excited and distracted. Taking that away would NOT be good for me mentally. I've been very emotionally unstable lately except for when I'm with my friends during rehearsals. I love it so much and would do anything to stay in it. The problem is when I exercise it doesn't make me more hungry, so I feel like I'm eating tons of extra food which makes me feel horrible emotionally and physically, so I eat until I'm full and then stop because that worked to maintain for 3 months, but now that I'm much more active i don't know what to do because Im not any hungrier but I'm expected to eat a lot more! I'm terrified that my parents will force me to drop out. I know I cannot handle that because I had to drop out of last years fall musical and then go IP and I was a WRECK. The same thing can't happen again because I already feel like I'm shattered in a million pieces, and I don't even know now if I can get myself back together.....

Sorry if I rambled. Just lots of stress and thoughts running through my head lately...