Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
Top 10 Family Guidelines for Preventing Relapse
1. Avoid making weight/food related comments, ie Youve gained so much weight or Its good to see you eating so much more
2. Avoid offering meal/diet advice or pressuring me at mealtimes, ie Wouldnt you rather have an ice cream sundae? or Have some more mashed potatoes.
3. Avoid discussing the fat and calorie content of food around me.
4. Resist the urge to discuss the latest diets or exercise trends.
5. Support me in choosing foods that accommodate my needs; dont take the initiative by purchasing items without first consulting me
6. Understand that physical appearance is not an indication of psychological well-being and that more food is not a cure for an eating disorder
7. Realize that every meal is a struggle and a challenge. Refrain from commenting on my eating behavior or my food while Im eating (and dont pat me on the back or applaud when I finish)
8. Be particularly sensitive to my mood before and following a meal. Reserve volatile and potentially stressful conversations, comments, and information for other times of the day.
9. Respect my privacy and personal boundaries
10. Listen with an open mind
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Also below is something that I got today from Renfrew.
What are some ways in which you have found your loved one to be supportive? What specific things have they done/not done that have been helpful?
WAYS TO BE HELPFUL
calm responses and reactions
listening without intent to fix
spontaneous acts of love and support (not for pity)
not always being the focus
respecting boundaries (especially in regards to treatment)
non judgmental
recognizing that lapse are going to happen
giving space
focusing on other things rather than appearance
understanding
listen not fix
not overreacting
asking what i need
talk wit me about what works best
ask, don't assume
WAYS NOT TO BE HELPFUL
policing (micromanagement) around meals and after
making comments
making assumptions about what is right for me
talking about weight
being approached during struggles can be triggering
blaming
making deals/bribes
giving guilt trips
making "us" the focus
focus only on ED and treatment topics
food police
taking things personally
assuming the worst
"making comments about how much i eat"
"being made at us for our behavior"
"telling us how disappointed we ware because i already know and we judge ourselves harder then you ever will".
1. Avoid making weight/food related comments, ie Youve gained so much weight or Its good to see you eating so much more
2. Avoid offering meal/diet advice or pressuring me at mealtimes, ie Wouldnt you rather have an ice cream sundae? or Have some more mashed potatoes.
3. Avoid discussing the fat and calorie content of food around me.
4. Resist the urge to discuss the latest diets or exercise trends.
5. Support me in choosing foods that accommodate my needs; dont take the initiative by purchasing items without first consulting me
6. Understand that physical appearance is not an indication of psychological well-being and that more food is not a cure for an eating disorder
7. Realize that every meal is a struggle and a challenge. Refrain from commenting on my eating behavior or my food while Im eating (and dont pat me on the back or applaud when I finish)
8. Be particularly sensitive to my mood before and following a meal. Reserve volatile and potentially stressful conversations, comments, and information for other times of the day.
9. Respect my privacy and personal boundaries
10. Listen with an open mind
-----------------------------------------
Also below is something that I got today from Renfrew.
What are some ways in which you have found your loved one to be supportive? What specific things have they done/not done that have been helpful?
WAYS TO BE HELPFUL
calm responses and reactions
listening without intent to fix
spontaneous acts of love and support (not for pity)
not always being the focus
respecting boundaries (especially in regards to treatment)
non judgmental
recognizing that lapse are going to happen
giving space
focusing on other things rather than appearance
understanding
listen not fix
not overreacting
asking what i need
talk wit me about what works best
ask, don't assume
WAYS NOT TO BE HELPFUL
policing (micromanagement) around meals and after
making comments
making assumptions about what is right for me
talking about weight
being approached during struggles can be triggering
blaming
making deals/bribes
giving guilt trips
making "us" the focus
focus only on ED and treatment topics
food police
taking things personally
assuming the worst
"making comments about how much i eat"
"being made at us for our behavior"
"telling us how disappointed we ware because i already know and we judge ourselves harder then you ever will".
Thats a lot of rules for ppl who dont get it in the first place. DO they teach anything about personal responsibility? Im just wondering how they help with ppl who cant find this support...
:-)
Those are great ways to be helpful, but they actually tell the other person how they are supposed to feel?
That's kind of a stretch.