Domestic Violence Community Group

Support for those who suffer or have suffered domestic violence. Domestic violence is any violence within the home; sometimes called family violence. Family violence may include elder abuse, child abuse or sibling abuse.

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Still having visions of torture

Meladi8
Meladi8

My relationship of three years hit an apex last Saturday with me being punched in the face, binded, head stuffed in a bag and suffocated, to being strangled with a belt. I lost consciousness and came to with blood pouring from my nose. I was locked in a closet most of the day because he thought I would go to the police-again- he fractured my face 2 months ago and I stupidly was attempting to work things out. I finally got out. But this time, I don't feel as triumphant. My emotions are all over. PTSD seems to have set in. He has tried to Express empathy to little avail and cannot understand why I wont go near that house or want to be near him. He messages me with anger. I caused this, he says. I'm a PhD candidate working full time and I'm really concerned my trauma will be impacting me negatively now. I've become more closed off and depressed. I've hid my bruised, swollen face from family and slept in hotels. I feel alone and like I will never heal. He's facing jail time and still blames me. How do I get to a level of normalcy again? I never felt safe ever anymore.

debbie7730
debbie7730
I am so sorry. I don't know how you recover. You should have run the first time, but I understand why you didn't. My boyfriend hit me and I tried to work it out. He hit me a second time recently. It has taken a long while for me to get angry enough to leave. I hope that you can find a safe place. Can you call the domestic abuse hotline and get a safe place to stay? I am sure there are resources to help you. Often University's have counseling available for students.
TauntedOctopus
TauntedOctopus
I'm glad you got out in some way. My ex abused me with it escalating over the span of 3 years. July 2017 he had another drug induced psychotic attack and his sister (we were in her home) called the cops on him. She advised me to change my phone number and any and all passwords I had on my accounts. I made an entirely new Facebook with a new email and strict security settings. Had all GPS settings turned off for a long time as well so in any event he couldnt track me. (He had programs attached to my number to do such. Not applicable in most cases). I blocked anything he could msg or call me from. That's a start. Finding a group that deals with ptsd/anxiety/ domestic abuse/violence will help. Speaking to people you trust about the things that happened will help. It's an over time thing. The past week or so I've had flashes back to one time he held me captive in his vehicle and tortured me and it almost made me break down. These moments are getting few and farther between. So there is hope. If you have a hobby you like or used to like try doing that. Occupy time when you're idle.