just wanted to add it wasn't always bad ... it got bad after he met another girl

No it is not wrong to want someone who hurt you back. WHen I say wrong, I mean uncommon. It is common for someone whom you love to have you stuck. Ask yourself, though, how much of this is your ego talking? How much of this is about you not wanting to be rejected? Also, how much is this about you only seeing the good and not letting yourself see the bad? Infidelity is so very common that I can't see how people always leave because of it. It would be ideal that people always did but honestly, it seems unrealistic. A statistic i once hears said that 74 percent of all committed relationships have at least one partner that cheats . I don't see how anyone has good relationships with that in mind. They do, don't let me be a downer.

Treat yourself well. Wear nice clothes, and pray and eat right and do the things that you like . Be good to yourself and eventually, you will attract a better guy. It is ok to want that other guy but i think those feelings will go away

so I was always like that with men. always. I never wanted a guy that wanted me (except one) I only wanted those that hurt me because they were a challenge and because they had some good qualities. I learned the hard way though that someone who crosses you becomes so ugly over time. really really so.

No, your feelings are never wrong! Before you decide to do anything about still wanting this person back in your life, think about your definition of love....is violence included in that definition? The absolute difficulty with domestic abuse is that our definition of love is intertwined with abuse, of any and all forms. Disentangling a new healthy definition of love from our old definition is the true challenge! .....can we still feel love for a person if it is void of domestic drama?