I mentioned not long ago that I've moved back to my hometown area near St. Louis. I'm very glad to be back among my friends and some of my family. I'm also closer to my kids here. But, there's one thing I was dreading - the possibility of running into my former in-laws. I was married to my ex for 24 years, and we were together for 6 years before that. So, these people have been a part of my life for 30 years. While our relationship has historically been tenuous, my former MIL was extraordinarily kind to me when my brother died just 3 months before my ex tore apart our family. I felt as though we had turned a corner and could finally be close. Then, my world shattered, and now the family I had come to love, despite the challenges, was ripped from my life. They were kind to me after the separation. My MIL sent me a letter saying how sad she was about our split. She remembered my birthday and sent me a Christmas card and, remarkably, a Mother's Day card a year after we split. For those who may not know, my ex told me on Mother's Day 2012 that he wanted to separate and then threw me out of our home the next day right in front of our children. So, that card meant a lot to me. After that, my ex announced his engagement to the OW, and I didn't hear from my in-laws again.

I was so sad because all I had ever wanted was to be close to them. But, they never seemed to accept me for who I was, until my brother died. Go figure.

I just started a job at the courthouse in the same town where my former in-laws now live. I figured it was just a matter of time before I would run into them, and I was dreading it. Well, this past Wednesday I was with some girlfriends and pulled onto the parking lot of the local grocery store to meet up with some other friends. And, who do you think I see walking into the store? My former MIL. I was not at all prepared to see her so soon. The good news is that she didn't see me. She probably wouldn't recognize me right away, anyway. The last time she saw me I was 80 lbs. heavier. She's so thin that she truly looks like someone who survived a concentration camp. And, she was always very critical of me and anyone who was overweight. She would say disparaging things right in front of her husband and others for their weight. I was no different. But, she seemed to change after my brother died.

I was able to watch her from a distance while we waited on our other friends. I was filled with a mix of dread and also sadness. I started to cry. I wasn't prepared to see her so soon, and yet, there she was. She's more hunched over now, and that made me very sad. Part of me wanted to exit the car and go and hug her. But, I have no idea how she will react when the inevitable happens and we are face-to-face again. She did pass a message along through my daughter, not to me directly, that she was proud of me for graduating from college. That also made me cry.

My friend who was with me happens to own a restaurant in town. When I pointed out who she was, she told me she thought she had seen her and my FIL before. I showed her pictures of their faces, and she feels pretty sure they come in fairly often. So, I asked her that the next time they come in to tell them that their meal is paid for and I will pay her for the whole thing, tip and all. I guess it was my way of saying that I still care about them and also to hopefully to extend an olive branch so that when we do finally run into each other it's not as awkward or uncomfortable. When I told my own parents about this, they got upset and told me I needed to stop caring about them. Yes, it's true that they have not always been very kind to me. But, I love them still, and always will. They weren't perfect in-laws, but I wasn't perfect either. No matter what, I know I will always care about them. I just can't turn off my affection like my ex was able to. It's not how I am.

So, I was hoping for feedback on this and how you feel I handled the situation? Is it weird, inappropriate, or wrong of me to want to still be kind to my former in-laws? Am I inviting more of a problem? Or, am I bat-shit crazy for still caring about them?

Any thoughts and opinions are welcome.