Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group

I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...

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startingover2011 04/14/2016

For we old timers who were cheated on, we learned this long ago, but for you who are going through it now, this is GOOD.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/katie-mitchell/the-life-changing-lesson-i-learned-through-the-pain-of-infidelity_b_9622948.html?

I also read THIS recently on Facebook. Also, good.

http://www.lifebuzz.com/marriage-advice/?ref=www.golifebuzz.com

I did #s 4, 19 and 20 really well, so take little responsibility in the downfall of my first marriage. As article #1 said, it was all about HIM.

caligirl92354 04/14/2016

Amen sister!

MNMama 04/14/2016

Wow.... both articles were excellent. Love the reinforcement that it wasn't about me, it was his issues.
Got to say though, as amazing and wonderful the ideas in the 2nd article are, does anyone really think there's anyone out there that would really be able to live up to them?

CowgirlKathi 04/14/2016

Without even reading the articles, I have long known that HE wasn't good enough for ME! Took awhile for that reality to sink in, but it is absolute truth!

tobywinn 04/16/2016

... there's anyone out there that would really be able to live up to them?

Answer: Sure there is....BUT not for long term !!!! I've been told they quickly lose and can't hold onto their idealization of their significant other. And that my dear, is a very flawed thinking problem. It is much like having a bad case of memory lost !!! [humor] .

trisha9054 04/16/2016

I always knew my worth but it kinda got lost in the marriage and kids. It took the ex going over seas and getting careless about what he hid from me to truly get back to myself. Sometimes when I'm tired and overworked I have to think back to all I have done since I was 17 to get myself back together.

I found out just how unfaithful he was and how dishonest about other things he could be. One reason I handled getting the taxes done every year. What he did to me and his many other women tells me he won't be faithful to anyone for very long. He wasn't good enough for me or even the other women he lied to. The fault lies totally with him, his insecurities and his sick need to have so many women in his life.

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