Yes, just part of the process of the "after." Enjoy your new you.

How long did you feel this way, m? I thought I'd be feeling great at this point.

How long have you been separated from your ex and how long divorced?

I agree with movingon.. enjoy the new you! It's now YOUR time to focus on you and it sounds like you're already doing that by getting back in shape. Good for you!

We've been separated now for 20 months. We've been officially divorced for a week.

I am a very social person so I'm not enjoying all this alone time at all. I don't mind some alone time but not THIS much!

I'm struggling with the desire to get back out there and date and the feeling that I'm just not ready. I feel so bored.

Your feelings are normal. After all of the stress of the actual divorce, you do find that when it's over, you get sad. The good news is this typically doesn't last, and if it does, there are things you can do to help with it (therapy, Meds, etc.).

Instead of dating, I would suggest you check out Meetup.com. It's not a dating site, but a site that connects you with people who share your interests.


Hugs!

I was going to suggest Meetup.com too! If your looking for activities and something to do, they offer all kinds of groups with NO strings attached. Maybe it's too soon for you to be thinking of dating but going out with friends may be just the thing for you. I love my Meetup groups.

Why shouldn't you feel sad? Your marriage is officially over. Your feelings are completely normal.. My healing didn't really begin until the divorce was final. I'm really glad that you got the settlement that you deserve. Now it's time to focus on you as you move forward. Life is now on the upturn for you, but that doesn't mean you won't still have feelings of sadness. Best Wishes!

Of course you're sad! Even people who had TERRIBLE marriages and are relieved to be out feel sad! Your marriage failed. Here on this forum, we all failed on our marriages! Not for lack of trying, and often not for lack of love or commitment.

You just need more time to pick yourself and dust yourself off. I have a loving family, my kids are doing great, I have a wonderful boyfriend but...I'm still sad sometimes! My life isn't what it was when I was married, I got off my career trajectory and haven't made it back career wise, my finances are depleted, I no longer own my own home.....but in many ways I'm happier then when I was married. Things will work out just as they should in the end. That's sort of my personal philosophy anyway! Hang in there!

We feel sad when we're grieving, and whether it's the loss of a marriage, a job, or someone from a death, we all have to work through the loss. It's normal. If you didn't ever care, it probably wouldn't hurt. But we did. We loved, lived, and struggled together for a long time before things fell apart. That's a lot of lost life to grieve.
Give yourself time and space to feel it, then set it aside and move on. It will come and go for quite a while, but each time, we learn how to work through it and move on a little easier.
Take care.

It's just because you can stop now and really grieve properly for everything you've lost. I had planned to have a big dinner party after my divorce went through, but when it finally happened, I just wanted to be alone with my memories. I didn't feel like celebrating. One friend turned up with champagne so we toasted my new life together and that was it. I still get sad at times, but not nearly as often as I used to.

love and hugs
kamary

Golden, it's a process. I'm 4 year out from when he left the house and I still feel sad sometimes. It's more of a sadness for the loss of something - not necessarily him. But let's face it - they put us in a position at a point in our lives where we should be spending MORE time together, not be alone.

You'll feel better, I promise. It really does just take time, although I don't think we will ever be the same.

I do agree that you cannot go through a divorce and not be affected for the rest of our lives. The thing I'm feeling the most is no familial support. Both my ex and myself had very dysfunctional families that never learned how to love one another or comfort one another. Therefore, it was(and still is)especially painful as I went through this process not to have anyone ask, "Are you doing OK?" No one. I feel so disconnected right now. I don't think my expectations of family are out of line. My friends seemed to know what to do but never my family. They're all just so selfish.