Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
Struggling lately again. For 23 years he was the one I came into he was the one I talk to when I was upset he was the one who comforted me. I know it's been 2 1/2 years but I still haven't found anyone to fill that spot. don't know what to do with these feelings when they become so intense I can only scream and cry at the wall so many times. I need somebody to care. I don't feel like I will ever have that again. I don't know if I'll ever be OK with that
SarahLeah
There is another blog called chumplady.com and she posted her version of Christmas Past - and all "chumps" have told stories of their Christmas' and how much better they are than with their ex. It's pretty eye opening if you go out and read it - there are some real winners out there with extraordinary stories.
I've got to say in my case and as in most, it's not that you miss your ex - it's that you miss the illusion of what you wanted it to be.
It's sort of like planning a vacation to Disneyland. You plan, and research and plan and research some more and then when the real thing comes, the lines are long. The kids are cranky... Your husband is bossing you around. You spend way too much money and your dog tired by the time you get home. Thinking about the vacation was much better than the real thing ha ha ha - that's the illusion.
You'll find that once you become whole within yourself - you won't care about outside things. It takes some very hard work and reprogramming, but once you make it - you are choosing a better life, outlook and new expectation of yourself. You might even find that your wants change.
It is very hard - it's been 4 years for me and I can still be a bit sad for the loss of the family unit, but a family can be many things and it doesn't have to include a husband. Mine wasn't much of a husband to begin with, with his serial cheating and today, I'm planning a nice low key Christmas dinner with my girls and their boyfriends and my brother. Next year, perhaps I'll have a boyfriend, or perhaps I won't. Relationships are WORK and the only work I want to do right now is take care of ME ha ha ha.
Have a very, very Merry Christmas my dear and a healthy and prosperous new year! Be well...