Oh Sweetie I know it's hard to see an end to your pain those of us that were married for 20 years or more it's like a lifetime. I was married for 23 years and it's only been a little over six months since he Abandoned us. I wish I could give you a certain time and date when things will start to feel normal again but, unfortunatly everyone is different and everyone heals on their own time. Keep venting and journaling there are so many good people on DS who have gone through and are going through exactly what you are.
Some days I feel strong and can breathe other days I find myself falling apart in Blockbuster because I realized for the first time in 23 years I couldn't say " Hey babe what about this one it looks good" Man I couldn't get out of there fast enough. Just take it one day at a time and find little things you can do to occupy your time otherwise your mind wonders constantly asking yourself " What is he doing" " Who is he with" I know i'm going through it too. I started scrapbooking and jounaling and of course joining DS has really helped me alot.
I'm here with you and you are NEVER ALONE OK. Take it at your pace and I promise it does get better like I said it's only been a little over 6 months for me but when I go back and read my journals I can't believe that i'm actually getting stronger. I thought I would never eat, sleep, or stop crying EVER!!!!!! I STILL CRY THINGS SNEAK UP ON ME BUT WITH EACH DAY THAT PASSES I KNOW I CAN SURVIVE...
Sending you BIG HUGS!!!!!!!!!

Welcome and sorry you have to be here. I too am alone this holiday weekend after a 24-year marriage. My husband officially left mid April and the divorce will probably be final next week. Things move fast in the Cowboy State. I know it will get better....it has to. There is tons of support on this board and lots of good sound advice. Take good care of yourself this weekend. Find something fun to do....I know sometimes it seems like too much effort because you don't feel like it but go ahead and do it anyway. Buy yourself some pretty, fragrant flowers. Lots of HUGS to you.

I spent a lot of time writing and going to places that were comfortable to be in like the dog parks, the mountains, and the deserts. You can call friends, other family, anyone who would be there for you. You find out who they are pretty quickly and who they aren't just as fast. I remember surrounding myself with people who were validating. Those are the people you need to frequent right now because there is a lot of invalidation that you may be feeling because of this relationship. Seek the balance. Before long, you'll find that you have more friends, and many family members will draw closer to you. Just embrace that inevitability. There is beauty in this separation. It will take time to find it but it's there. In the meantime, here is a video that I share with estranged parents in another forum. I don't know if it will help but it has helped me see the positive side of everything.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UabGi_jZRPM&feature=feedwll&list=WL

Welcome to DS. I'm so sorry you are experiencing this awful feeling for so long. I don't know if you are in counseling, who you have as a support system. Being here is definitely the right step. Since I don't know your methods of trying to cope, I can only suggest that you ask lots of questions, journal your emotions honestly and read what others have gone through. Through these entries, you may find things that stick in your mind and give you clues on how to deal with your pain. I don't know if you are in the same home you both lived in, if you started anything new that would NOT remind you of him or your marriage. Some of us moved away from the familiar. Some started school, as I did, with the intent of not just having a career, but also as a step towards reinventing or rediscovering ourselves. In any event, DS helped me volumes. I think you will find the support you need here. Big hugs.