I agree, have it put in escrow until all financials are settled. I have a complicated business selling of his which we are having the proceeds put into escrow, He cannot dip into it and I wont so I feel it is safe there.. I dont understand why its has to get so sticky but they dont like to part with money.. I have been reminded by so many on this site.. "this is the biggest business deal you will make in your life" Lets hope I can play the game well. Why have you not received temp CS? Are you working? This should have been in place when the legal separation was filed. Sorry, dont know too much about your particulars.. I will check your profile..

You wrote: "My suggestion and that of my lawyer is to have this placed in trust until how it is divided (even if 50/50) is listed in the settlement agreement with the other aspects of settlement -- legally. "

That is EXACTLY the way it should be, however, if unless your contract with the REALTOR states this, you could be in for trouble. Someone else on these boards I believe is having the same problem...realtor FORGOT to put this stipulation into the sale contract.

If you have a signed, notarized copy of your court Settlement Agreement, take a copy to your realtor IMMEDIATELY. And just tell your stbx, "You will get yours when it all gets divided...and not a moment before!" My guess is, if he gets his hands on a nice chunk of change, he will squander it. Once it's gone, it's gone. Hang tough!

I know your stbx has NOT been paying child support (whether or not there is a court order for this is irrelevant with regard to this property sale). Just be sure (if you can't get the stbx to agree to put the sale proceeds in escrow) that you keep the documentation from the sale. I am sure your stbx will be under great scrutiny when the child support issue comes up in court.

Hi Tryn,

I do not have a settlement yet - our court date in Feb. and -- just temporary child support hearing to date. This started in spring when I filed. My lawyer and I have fielded to stbx lawyer as of last week a first settlement proposal prior to court date. Haven't heard back on that. May not for a while since --- just working under the table, moving around assets that he's well hidden with the OW --- and generally doing nothing as a parent (even calling his daughter on is birthday) are his modus operandi. (As I write this -- I think even more -- what a jerk!)

Thanks Kathi - you're right he has not paid . He's a weasly one and is certain to do nothing unless the court makes him.

I have not had a trust or escrow account before. Unsure if I set this up? the Lawyer? (don't trust stbx). How would the payout go to the escrow account. What if he doesn't agree?

THANKS! So many new skills to gain in this all.

This is a simple answer, let your attorney handle it. All law firms and lawyers by law have escrow accounts that monie(s) are deposited and held in until the dust clears and the divorce or whatever is final. Law firms, realtors, banks all by law have to hold all kinds of money in escrow, every day. This is joint property, and there are not seperate checks. I am assuming that you have legally filed for divorce. The realtor has nothing to do with it. The check comes from the financial institution of whomever bought it and it will be joint if the property is. The lawyer suggestion is right. If you are concerned have him handle the closing, they do by fax and phone now days.

YOU state you are not near a final settlement yet. That comes last. You may settle on certain issues. Talk to your lawyer, tell you stbx nothing, because that is the mistake my clients make, I tell them, the lawyers tell them, everyone tells them quit telling your stbx what you are going to do to him and her because you want to show them they are not getting the upper hand. WHAT you are doing is showing them your poker hand. Your lawyer will call his lawyer and say how to you want to handle this land deal..

Child support, you must not have had your first court hearing with the judge or your attorney has not filed for one for a good reason.

AND most of all take all we tell you with what it is, advice. NO two divorces are the same. That goes for what I tell you, for I am not a lawyer or a therapist. The more I do this in real life, the more I see that no matter what if you can do what your lawyer tells you and not keep telling the stbx what you are going to do to him you are better off. My short dirty talk on this to clients is, don't show him your poker hand, try and show him how smart you are ( he doesn't think you are or does he care) and try not to worry about things that will get resolved, stay in the present and get your financial disclosure done for example. AND after all that, one of my clients got into it over snow shovels in the court room this week.. and the lawyer and I told her, drop that, we will buy you new snow shovels as gift... I AM NOT KIDDING! Best to you

Either lawyer can set up a trust fund so that the proceeds from the house sale can remain. The lawyer will inform and instruct the realtor. The court at settlement will order the division of that trust fund.

Otherwise, don't agreed to any other option in which allows your spouse or yourself for legal reasons to cash in.

Good advice, here, to keep your ideas between yourself and your lawyer.
I have a hard time not knowing what the next step will be, but everyone on DS has been so helpful about being patient with the process of divorce. It's not easy, but I am trying to do this every day.
I remind myself that my stbx is abusive and that is why he does abusive things.
I remind myself that I hired my lawyer because I did my research and felt she was the best fit for me, so I need to trust her.
I also remind myself that NO CONTACT is the way to go. I know you have children living at home, so you may need to have limited contact with the stbx, but make it as limited as possible.
Your lawyer should have people he/she works with who can help you with the real estate issue if your lawyer can't do it. I know it costs extra, but it's worth it to make sure you handle this sale in a way that will benefit you and the children.
Best of luck.
((hugs))

Good advice from all. Talk to your attorney, not the stbx. That's why you pay the attorney (took me a long time to learn this--sheesh!).

Do not agree to split any money until the settlement is the way you want it.

Stay strong.

Thanks all. Oh my -- it's a process isn't it. Following up with lawyer.