My list could get long but I think the main one is that he would want to be with me a lot. Not all the time, but enough to make us both feel loved and wanted.

I'm still at a point where I can't believe people who've been thru this would even consider remarriage. Sorry, no remarriage pointers consideration for me..

Both my Lawyer and my psychologist recommended that I not remarry. Have a committed relationship, but no marriage. Doesn't matter to me at this point anyway since I am nowhere even close to being ready to date, but I do know that I do not ever want to go through the divorce process again.

I think this is a VERY interesting question!

The man I'm currently dating (14 months) is very pro marriage and has discusssed it so many times.....as soon as he said that I was "the one" and "the love of his life" and all the things one WANTS to hear from a perspective mate/partner.

He is 6 years post marriage but I'm only 2 and that is a huge difference! Also, his marriage did not end in betrayal, but amicably and they are very friendly. Me...well y'all know about me! Also, his parents had a wonderful marriage, but mine...well, they're still together and love each other, but have always fought like cats and dogs!

He gets that I'm skittish but marriage is important to him and he wants me to know that. I think men are more willing to tie the know again and "lock" down their future so to speak.

List? My list would be the same for a love partner as a potential marriage partner. Think those "qualities" are obvious and universal. Question is, do I WANT to get married again! I think I would consider if, as with my current beau, it's super important to him. And I was ready. But not now.

Super curious what other have to say.....

Sure you should make a list. You might want to make one of the things you don't want while your at it - for me I want:

1. Respect
2. Honesty
3. Loyalty
4. Faithful
5. Emotionally available
6. Hard working
7. Family oriented
8. Kind
9. Considerate
10. Someone who can be a man and say they are sorry when it's called for and mean it.
just to name a few LOL - but most of this stuff is just plain being a good human being...

For me to even reconsider ever marrying again, that man would have to love me and give me what I need and that is emotional security. I always knew with my ex that I loved him more. May be selfish but I would want the man to love me more than I love him....not sure if that possible because I love deeply when I love.

Thanks for replying. Very interesting comments.
I would like to see some more?

I think Iammine is correct that most of us have "universal" requirements. The basics....trust, loyalty, honesty etc.

As for individually specific ones, I have a few. They have changed as I have gone through this process. I've kept this list and updated it as I go along. My list in the beginning of this journey is much different than the one I have now 1 1/2 years in. I'm sure it will change again and even after I meet a special someone.

I'll admit up front that some of my requirements may seem odd or limiting. But I know that I will NEVER allow myself to get into the same situation I was in.....ever again.....even if that means being judgemental or discriminatory against some people.

It's not because I am unkind or a snob. It's just that I know what I want and what I most definitely do not want. We all have limits and they are based on the scars we carry.

When I started this divorce journey I thought maybe. I jokingly said any man interested in me would have to parachute out of a plane in front of my tractor. They would have to hope I didn't mow them over with the bush hog. It got a laugh. I believe in laughing my way thru most problems.

Over six years post divorce I know what I don't want and that is anyone else in my life. I isolate myself on this farm because I love the life I have right now. I love it so much there is no room for anyone except family in my life. I'm happy, I'm content and there are no game players in my life. That's enough for me.

Mean what you say
Say what you mean
Be happy with what you complain about!

Me.... Ok I admit I leave the seat up from time to time and let the grass get a little too long but man I always wanted you to feel good about yourself and the clothes you wore ...and when I said I'd be home at 11 I wS home at 11, you sweated the small shit and took my trust and my trustworthiness for granted

The fictitious new lady friend.... Man I don't care about the jones, ever!
Lets not sweat the small stuff, can I trust you to do the right thing?
R u the center if the universe? ( I hope not)
Do we agree on the things that are bigger than ourselves?
Again ... Do we agree on the things that are bigger than ourselves?
Can I trust you to do the right thing?

---- looks, figure, crazy sex, money , power, & whatever is all just whipped cream on shit if I can't trust you.
I hope to find someone that values the truth in my word

I don't need anything on my list as I don't plan to remarry.

Good luck to all who want to venture into marriage again. I would love to be in a relationship, but don't feel the need to get married again.

The romantic part of me would like to re-marry...but the practical side of me does not. My reasons are mostly financial. The perfect relationship would be...we each have our own place and we get together for dinners out and sleep overs...lol. If marriage was a real possibility a prenuptial would be a must. As far as characteristics or a must list...a kind loving family oriented man would be a priority...someone who says what they mean and mean what they say...reliable and committed...Big Hugs...Kathy

I feel remarriage is not in the cards for me. I have such respect and in awe of those who can do it.

My ex remarried within 2 yrs time to another who did not have kids and never married in her 40s. We have kids btwn us so it has not been easy. In fact they managed to estrange them from me post divorce

I think my list would start with - never get remarried (for myself). :)

Never, never and never

I don't think I will every marry again. I will not lose 50% of my hard earned money, I will not lose part of my house, pension, savings etc.

I will live with someone, and ensure I am protected.

First, make a list. The list needs to have 100 qualities you want in a partner for life. This is from Oprah...I am borrowing it.
Next, decide which are your top priorities, circle them.
Third, star the qualities you cannot live without.
Fourth, edit the list as often as you can, adding and or deleting qualities.
When your lit is perfect....then Hit those dating sites, and get busy finding the right one.
Wishing you much love and happiness, enjoy the search!