It's still early on, Hullibee. Give yourself time to grieve. If he died, you wouldn't be over him right away either. I'm glad you're getting out to have some fun with friends, but make sure you have time to work through the emotions too. Take care.

MNMama i guess I'm rushing it. The diivorce I is final in two weeks. It has been goiing on for more than a year. I tried to give him time but he doesn't want to deal. All he wants right now is to drink. It's so hard to accept. I know though that is what I have to do. I am so sad because i cannot cure it, I cannot control it, and ii did not cause it.

I'm sorry your feeling guilty, but I do know the feeling

Like MNMAMA said it takes time, you need to take as long as it takes. I know that isn't an answer but its different for everyone.

You are grieving the loss of your partner , he may not have died but the man you knew and love has. He no longer exists.

One year is not really a long amount of time, especially when the first few months or more were spent just trying to make it to the next day

Give yourself time, and I promise it will get easier.

For me it was almost two years to the day we seperated that I realized I truly was ok, and I no longer had major sadness and heart break. Then during the third year it was sporadic times of pain

Now four years out, I can't even really remember what it was like to have him in my life.

I still get moments thou of how the hell did this happen

(((HUGS))))

You are doing nothing wrong. NO guilt! Just be kind to yourself. Going out with friends and staying busy helps. Good job!

Hugssss
SO

I'm over 2 years divorced now, one of his addictions was alcohol as well, and I couldn't fix, change, make anything better (or worse for that matter), or affect his behaviors in any way. All I could do anything about was deciding what I would do, and staying would not have been sane or healthy. You're doing what's right for you, and it still hurts, but you will be better with time and separation.

Thank you all. I will take it slowly. I'm going to continue. Every day I'm stronger. Life will go on.

Sorry my iPad wow won't type.

Yes, one day at a time, always being kind and compassionate with yourself. When you've been a long time with one person, it takes a long time to heal after divorce. I guess there may be a certain amount of guilt because you were committed to your stbx for so long.

I am yet to try dating and I am 7 years out. Good on you for starting. Have fun with it and don't rush into anything. Get to know a new guy before you get too involved.

love and hugs
kamary