Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
So, we've been to mediation. We've decided on a settlement. We signed a letter outlining everything before we left the mediators office. My attorney is drafting the formal agreement for us to review and sign.
Toward the end of the mediation, my H requested an "abeyance," which would allow him to temporarily stop paying alimony, in the event he was involuntarily fired from his job. My attorney said we could put a clause in the agreement stating that he had a certain amount of time to find new employment, like 6 months. If he had not found a job in that time, he would have to continue paying alimony, making up the alimony he had not paid. Hope this is making sense.
I initially agreed to it because he had basically given me everything I asked for. I had to compromise a bit on the alimony but I was fine with what I got. But now, I'm having second thoughts about this little caveat. Have you all ever heard of such a thing? I'm not feeling comfortable with it because of his age and his potential health problems(he has had cancer but is fine at the moment). What if he never finds another job?
My attorney said we could still tweak things a bit before the formal settlement agreement is signed. I'm not sure I can agree to this little caveat. Sounds like he's trying to get out of his responsibility a little early, you know? I wouldn't put it past him. He is very, very sneaky.
Toward the end of the mediation, my H requested an "abeyance," which would allow him to temporarily stop paying alimony, in the event he was involuntarily fired from his job. My attorney said we could put a clause in the agreement stating that he had a certain amount of time to find new employment, like 6 months. If he had not found a job in that time, he would have to continue paying alimony, making up the alimony he had not paid. Hope this is making sense.
I initially agreed to it because he had basically given me everything I asked for. I had to compromise a bit on the alimony but I was fine with what I got. But now, I'm having second thoughts about this little caveat. Have you all ever heard of such a thing? I'm not feeling comfortable with it because of his age and his potential health problems(he has had cancer but is fine at the moment). What if he never finds another job?
My attorney said we could still tweak things a bit before the formal settlement agreement is signed. I'm not sure I can agree to this little caveat. Sounds like he's trying to get out of his responsibility a little early, you know? I wouldn't put it past him. He is very, very sneaky.
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I had gone to the grocery store. When I wheeled my cartback to my car I just stool there a minute. A few spacesaway a Tesla Cyber truck was parked. I had seen it on theroad a few times for a few seconds. But not close up.It looked like it belonged to 2126 and not 2026. I wasgoing to take a picture of the car but the owners cameback and drove away. It was an ordinary middle age...
Enjoy this little victory and step forward. Don't muddy it up with fear and doubt.
It was kind of like throwing a curve ball at the end you know?
His company kept him on during his cancer. If he wasn't a good employee they could and would have found another reason to have let him go. He has a pension or retirement accts he can fall back on. If he was let go he would probably be entitled to a severance package or buy out.
My ex tried three times to get out of paying me. Each time my local court told him too bad he had assets to pay me. The second time he had his ankle operated on and came into court on crutches. The judge told him he should have saved the money to pay me while he was off work. He was ordered to pay me that time too.
You are wise to question this clause he wants to put into your settlement.
So I would have questioned that abeyance clause too if the ex had tried what your stbx tried to do.
So, here's an update. I emailed my attorney twice, called her once re: this matter and she has not responded at all. I happened to mention to my H that I had a concern about one thing in the settlement - didn't even say what it was - and he immediately put everything on hold again. He was about to go to the bank with me, pay off the credit card, get me a new card(while all the assets are still high) - assuming the settlement would go through - but now, he has decided to wait. Said his attorney has advised him to do so. Why oh why DID I even mention this to him? There is no reason for him to wait on this any longer. It's going to be part of the settlement and he knows that. He agreed to it. And so, here I am, waiting again. And the credit card balance continues to rise. Almost at the credit limit now. H has now been banned from entering the house unless he shows up with a check for the entire balance. I am livid. And where is my attorney when I need her? Geez. Everybody's got me over a barrel.