Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
As I look at Facebook everyday, everyone is posting a daily "I am thankful for . . ." Then I attended Church services tonight and we did a Thanksgiving exercise. I thought that might be a good idea for all of us. I know it is more difficult to think in these terms early in the divorce process but just give it a shot.
I'll try to get us started:
I am thankful for my sons and my daughter-in-law who have helped me tremendously! I am thankful for my siblings and my Dad also (for that same reason). They have all been my support system in the last 2 years and I don't know where I would be without them!
I am so thankful to God for showing me a new life and even pushing me through the door a few times in the last couple of years. I am thankful to my Church family back and Idaho and here in WV. They are so good to me and have dropped everything so many times to help me and my sons.
Finally, I am VERY thankful for this group! It has brought me sanity when i couldn't seem to find it. It has left me rolling on the floor laughing many times (and usually when I NEEDED the laugh). What would I have done without you? Where would I be?
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving! You all deserve it!
Diane
I'll try to get us started:
I am thankful for my sons and my daughter-in-law who have helped me tremendously! I am thankful for my siblings and my Dad also (for that same reason). They have all been my support system in the last 2 years and I don't know where I would be without them!
I am so thankful to God for showing me a new life and even pushing me through the door a few times in the last couple of years. I am thankful to my Church family back and Idaho and here in WV. They are so good to me and have dropped everything so many times to help me and my sons.
Finally, I am VERY thankful for this group! It has brought me sanity when i couldn't seem to find it. It has left me rolling on the floor laughing many times (and usually when I NEEDED the laugh). What would I have done without you? Where would I be?
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving! You all deserve it!
Diane
I've posted this so many times on here. I'm grateful for the wonderful sunrises and sunsets I see each day. The hard work I am able to do to make this farm my home. For being led to the best atty. in the state who has gone to court with me five times.
The one friend who listened to me as I went through the divorce. For the many opportunities and people who have come into my life. Most of all I have my daughter back in my life and she visits often with baby Zoe.
Yes, I wouldn't have all of these things to be thankful for without the ex in my life. I am grateful to him from a distance. I have been blessed with luck along the way to getting my freedom. So many more things I could say but these are the most important ones to me.
My HEALTH - especially my EMOTIONAL HEALTH which my therapist preserved during the 18 months of Hell and which I have learned how to take care of on my own by NO CONTACT with toxic people (especially toxic family members!)
My HEALTH - my PHYSICAL HEALTH. Even though my spine is a wreck, I am SO THANKFUL that despite two serious lumbar fractures in 23 years, I can STILL WALK and haven't lost control of anything below the site of those fractures!
My HOME - Even though I'm more than ready to leave this 7 acre piece of Paradise and try something new, this farm has been my solace, my safe place and my anchor for over 23 years.
My ATTORNEY - Zoa Barnes is an amazing woman! Smart, funny, strong and never ONCE did she lose her cool even when faced with the opposing side's counsel (who we will forever refer to as the Wicked Witch of Odortown -- that's our nickname for Odenton - LOL)! The the few times when I grew so weary of the war, I almost conceded, Zoa would pipe up and say "We need 24 hours to consider this" and, true to form, when 24 hours had passed, I was picked up, dusted off and had my weapons reloaded. We DIDN'T GIVE UP! I don't know how many attorneys there are who would have the kind of patience and resolve that she inspired in me. What a GEM!
My RELATIONSHIP WITH HEAVENLY FATHER - No explanation needed here.
My FAITH IN MYSELF - It waivered quite a bit, but it was restored and remains strong today.
My TWO CATS, Jake & Elwood (the Blues Brothers) - They have been a constant source of love and laughter since I brought them home in June 2005 at 10 weeks of age. They stuck with me through the worst time of my life; becoming Mr. Comfort and Mr. Comic Relief, and they still bring joy to every day.
My HORSES - While Rio is the only one who remains, nothing is better for the inside of a woman than the outside of a horse!
TOM - The Man of My Dreams. No relationship is perfect, but he and I have a good one -- a HEALTHY relationship -- and we cherish it, feed it, water it and exercise it to keep it that way.
My TRUE BLUE FRIENDS - Without them, I would be pretty lost and lonely. True Blue Friends love you unconditonally. They stick by you even if they don't agree with you. They pick you up when you fall down; kick you in the butt when you need it. They also give YOU a reason to do the same thing for them on occasion.
My FAIRY GODMOTHER - Gloria is 85 now and not in good health. As I lost my own mother way back in 1976, my relationship with Gloria has been extremely important to me as an adult. God love her, she held me while I bawled my eyes out many times during the 18 Months of Hell. Her love for me is totally unconditional. She never criticizes, berates or punishes me. She holds me in her thoughts and prayers every single day and I do the same with her. I wish she could live forever! EVERYONE needs a Fairy Godmother!
EVERY NEW DAY -- Even today, when I really DON'T feel like getting up so early and schlepping into work at my part time, seasonal job that I really don't need. The sun will come up shortly and I will pause to see things lightening up outside my window. And, as I do every day, I will say a little prayer to thank my Heavenly Father for seeing me safely through the night and for the GIFT of ANOTHER DAY.
My Lord, Jesus. Through his Word and his angels, he lifted me up when I had no will to continue. He stands by me always.
My children Julie and Nicholas who, despite their pain, are loving, supporting and reassuring me in ways that make me SO proud of the young adults they have become.
My brother Rob who came to my rescue more than any other person. He stood in place of our father with sound advice and loving sternness when needed.
My sisters Linda, Joann and Annette who cried with me, cared for me, and loved me when I did not act very lovable.
My Divorce Care family. We have and continue to laugh and cry as we support each other through this season of life. I learn and grow every time we meet.
My Daily Strength family. They teach me, empathize with me, correct me, entertain me, and they allow me to act like a fool sometimes.
My church family. They made me feel loved and welcome, not different or shunned. They are my refuge.
My employer for providing me with work in this very difficult time in our country. (which reminds me, I'm supposed to be working...)
I’m thankful for just being alive after all my medical problems.
Thankful for my son and two Grandchildren. Kennedy 7 and Luke 4.
Thankful for God giving me a new wonderful wife.
Thankful that I stopped Smoking in April of 2006 and stop drinking alcohol in … “ready”….. 1976..
So, Yes…….. I still cry…… still hurt ..especially around the Holidays…, but I do have things to be thankful for..
Thanks …. Bob
Forgot one thing.............
Many of the good people here at D&S that listen to me over and over....
I'm thankful to have met so many good people here.
To me .... each and every one of you are special people in my life... my other family.... Come to think about it.... Maybe my only family... Ha-ha.... Thank you all.
I am thankful that God helped me find the strength to finally free myself from a life of misery.
I am thankful for the support of my parents and my brothers even though some of them live thousands of miles away.
I am thankful for very good supportive friends.
I am grateful for modern technology which shrinks the distances and makes it possible to easily communicate with friends and family across the globe.
I am thankful for the beauty of nature all around me and for my appreciation of it.
I am grateful for my loving heart.
I am grateful for my church family and for their love and support.
I am grateful for the peace and quiet I come home to after a day of work and for the job I have so I can support myself and keep my home.
Wow there are more and more things that come to mind.
Thank you for making me start to think of them!!
I'm grateful for my son. Alex has psychological issues and has been in treatment for many years with drug treatments that are sometimes working and sometimes not. But he is still my wonderful son - helpful, loving and so intelligent. He inspires me.
I'm grateful for all my friends and my three furry babies - Kit, Sofia and Chloe.
I'm grateful for the adopted family that I have. Alice's family has embraced me and my ex's family loves me too. I'm grateful for my grandnieces and my grandgodsons.
I'm grateful for my career. I worked so hard for so many years (35), but there were so many payoffs on the way - clients, fascinating cases, and the chance to make law.
I'm grateful for being in remission from RA and recovering from the surgeries I have had. Luckily, I'm a fast healer.
I'm grateful that I have a house I love and my very own craft room.
I'm grateful that I can cook still and that people love my food.
I'm grateful for all the wonderful books there are and the time to ready them.
Lynne
Perfect to start my day right.
Perfect to start my day right.
this group and the long timers that shared their experience and hope when I was feeling lost.
my children, meaningful work, good health, people that love me, friends, my black lab, Zeus, people to love
Take a sheet of paper, divided vertically with a line. On one side, write the heading MY BLESSINGS and on the other write MY PERCEIVED LOSSES. I guarantee you, your BLESSINGS will ALWAYS outnumber those perceived losses.
Thank you drtexdi for this little exercise in GRATITUDE. It's something we all need to keep in mind every single day -- not just at Thanksgiving!
I am thankful for my friends, some who just materialized out of the woodwork when they found out what happened.
I am thankful for my animals...my therapy horses Cassiopeia and Boru, my Chesapeake Bay Retriever Salty and my formerly feral kitty, Beko.
I am thankful for a job which is emotionally and philosophically satisfying and also meets my financial needs.
I am thankful for living in one of the most beautiful places in the US.
I am thankful for my health which enables me to continue to enjoy living here in a fairly rugged environment.
I am thankful for my God-given artistic talents which hopefully I will put to use some day.
I am thankful for my beautiful home and the community where I live.
I am thankful for all the support from DS especially the long timers who are still here helping the newbies.
Right this very moment I am soooo thankful for the 3-4 inches of snow last night so I can practice using the snow blower!
Hugs everyone.
I am very thankful for my loving, supportive family and children.
I'm so thankful that my girls have all gone on to pursue their dreams, graduating from college, and I'm so proud of their accomplishments, especially that they didn't alllow the trauma of divorce as teenagers to derail them.
I'm thankful for my husband, a loving and faithful man, who I have a great time with!
I'm thankful for our new house, and my new business opportunity--I'm opening a tearoom again!
I"m thankful that Barry and I now lead DivorceCare and it is such a priviledge to be a part of the healing process for those that are currently hurting. I think of it as giving the devil a kick in the teeth! :)