Im sorry you have to be here but welcome to our group. Start by making a plan of how you will survive this ordeal. Set some short term goals that will put you in a better condition health wise and will also start your movement foreward in this new life. Have you gotten a counselor yet?

sorry for your situation, she left me after 26 years for a dirtbag, cheaters are not men so don't give your wife's dirtbag any false credit for being a man.
i can understand how you feel, i have been there, and still feel that way sometimes. your kids are probably hurting themselves over thier mothers betrayal, and your are a reminder of that, makes it "weird" for them, just does cause seeing you can make them see her ffffffffffffing the family over.
it is okay to be down like your are, accept that it goes a long ways towards starting the climb.
don't be in a hurry to climb back, just accept that you've kicked in the heart, soul, and balls.
you and only you can give your life meaning
you can choose to try to be the best man you can be under the circumsatnces, sometimes you may falter (you / we are human)
counseling helps, talking helps, this site helps

it does'nt make you feel better but people here have beein in similar shitstorms, some in in the shitstorm right now, come and post here, read other posts

I'm so sorry that divorce has brought you here but you have found a great place for support. Keep talking with us here. We have been through it and understand.

Refurb is right about counseling. I often advise new members to make two important phone calls--one to an attorney to take care of you financially, and the other to a counselor to put you back together emotionally. Some refer to these two as the Dream Team and for those of us who have survived and are thriving, this dynamic duo is the reason why.

Sending healing hugs!!! We will walk the journey with you.

Dear raymondsingh
Like hurtinandhealin says , we will be at your side during this journey.
Hugs and more hugs.

You are not alone. We are with you. Some at different stages, but we've been there and understand the deep and unrelenting pain.

Welcome to the group. Sorry you have to be here. Can you get in to see a counselor? I'm worried about you because of the things you are saying in your post "life is meaningless" and the fact that she left for another man you still want her back. You need to see a counselor and get strong. If she does come back, it won't be the same and cheaters often get abusive when they do come back. You don't deserve that and need to be prepared is she does try and come back. It's a horrible roller coaster ride.

thanks to all of you for your support and advice .i am looking for a counselor hope i find one soon, it is not easy here to find one.she has not filed for divorce as yet .she told me i am not her husband any more ,just the father of her children.she denied she living wit om until 1 month ago .she is living abroad wit this man .i now know that she has been seeing him for over a year , she has been traveling abroad a lot over the pass 3 years.she told me hurtful things the during the weeks before she left .she do not even call the kids .she just give us up for this man.she is so cruel.all my dreams are shattered.she is 6 years younger than myself.

u are right misred.she made a trip a couple of weeks before left and and there was a rumor that she was seeing some one i confronted her and she denied it and i told her i loved more than myself so let us forget the rumor and continue wit our lives together. i begged her not to leave me ,she said she will not then the abuse started until she left.she had said she will come back to be there for the 16 year old until she write her exams and go back but that was a lie like all the other lies.i ask the kids to beg her to come back and she was abusive and hang up .

I am sorry you are going thru this. Please be good to yourself so you can be strong for your children.
All of us here understand your pain, we've been there, many of us are still in the middle of it just like you.
As much as we would like to have things the way they used to be, after an ultimate betrayal like that, there is no going back to the way it was. I could NEVER trust my cheating spouse again but I still wish it never happened.

Gentle Hugs

Get yourself to an attorney, my friend. If she has left you and is out of the country, she has essentially ABANDONED YOUR MARRIAGE and there may be some legal steps you can take right now to preserve your financial status and which will go toward you maintaining custody of your minor children.

The other thing to keep in mind from this moment forward is this: If her lips are moving -- she is lying. Cheaters will lie until the cows come home -- you can put undeniable proof under their nose and they will deny, deny, deny. A qualified counselor or licensed therapist will be of the utmost help to you right now and in the months to come. Please, leave no stone unturned in getting the help you need.

Big squeezy hugs to you from someone who has been there, done that, and got a whole New Life afterward!

thanks to all for your advise.and support

thanks everyone

I'm so sorry that you find yourself here, but you have found a good place for support. Divorce is hard no matter what the reason, but cheating and abandonment like that hurts people to the core. Find that therapist and talk, talk, talk - feel, feel, feel - you will get through it. Find a good lawyer, and hope of returning spouses will kill you. Work toward no return and if she does end up coming back, you'll be in a stronger position than you are now. You are not defined by your relationship. You are your own person and are enough!

I'm so sorry that you find yourself here, but you have found a good place for support. Divorce is hard no matter what the reason, but cheating and abandonment like that hurts people to the core. Find that therapist and talk, talk, talk - feel, feel, feel - you will get through it. Find a good lawyer, and hope of returning spouses will kill you. Work toward no return and if she does end up coming back, you'll be in a strong

Welcome to the group, raymond. You'll find lots of friends and people who have been through this and survived.