Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
The thought has occurred to me on more than one occasion that there is a wealth of wisdom, lessons learned, life history and stories, and strength among the men and women of this forum. Divorce is a pervasive problem. We have all struggled with the many terrible and surprisingly wonderful aspects of living through it. I believe in my heart that the stories and advice and wisdom shared here would be of tremendous benefit to others who, tragically, must walk this path.
As some of you may know, I'm a writer. It's a part of me that began when I was a child and has only gotten stronger as I get older. Some of my work has been published. I'm currently working on another book project. But, this idea has been circulating in my mind for a while, and I wanted to put it out there and see if any of you might be interested in coauthoring a book, a collection of heartfelt stories, advice, wisdom, and humor on what it's like to survive divorce after so many years of marriage. This would be a truly collaborative effort. And, as any of you who journal already know, there is healing power in putting down in words the things you feel and have endured. If any of you has read "The Help" you are familiar with a book told from the perspective of many different points of view. I envision this book being very similar in format.
We each have a unique story to tell, even though much of what we've experienced is the same. That's the beauty of it. I learn new things every day that I visit this forum. It's a powerful elixir of shared experience and unique approaches and perspectives that collectively demonstrate courage, fortitude, kindness, and compassion. I believe it deserves to be shared with others.
To me, there's nothing more beautiful than someone who has gone through hell and emerged on the other side of pain as a whole and vibrant person. Imagine what it would be like for an entire group of people to share their stories. And, it doesn't matter where you are in your journey to recovery. Wherever you are right now is the story that needs to be told because each person out there in the world is in a different place in his/her journey. Each story will resonate with others because either you're in that very place right now or you've already lived through it or you're hoping to get there. In other words, it's all good! :)
I hope each of you will think about it and indicate either here or in a private message if you might be interested. If nothing else, a collection of our stories will have meaning to us. We can treasure our friendship and camaraderie each time we read the stories and remember the love and goodwill shared here. It's also a snapshot in time of where we were when the stories were written so we can look back and see how far each of us has come since then.
Let me know your thoughts!
Kim
As some of you may know, I'm a writer. It's a part of me that began when I was a child and has only gotten stronger as I get older. Some of my work has been published. I'm currently working on another book project. But, this idea has been circulating in my mind for a while, and I wanted to put it out there and see if any of you might be interested in coauthoring a book, a collection of heartfelt stories, advice, wisdom, and humor on what it's like to survive divorce after so many years of marriage. This would be a truly collaborative effort. And, as any of you who journal already know, there is healing power in putting down in words the things you feel and have endured. If any of you has read "The Help" you are familiar with a book told from the perspective of many different points of view. I envision this book being very similar in format.
We each have a unique story to tell, even though much of what we've experienced is the same. That's the beauty of it. I learn new things every day that I visit this forum. It's a powerful elixir of shared experience and unique approaches and perspectives that collectively demonstrate courage, fortitude, kindness, and compassion. I believe it deserves to be shared with others.
To me, there's nothing more beautiful than someone who has gone through hell and emerged on the other side of pain as a whole and vibrant person. Imagine what it would be like for an entire group of people to share their stories. And, it doesn't matter where you are in your journey to recovery. Wherever you are right now is the story that needs to be told because each person out there in the world is in a different place in his/her journey. Each story will resonate with others because either you're in that very place right now or you've already lived through it or you're hoping to get there. In other words, it's all good! :)
I hope each of you will think about it and indicate either here or in a private message if you might be interested. If nothing else, a collection of our stories will have meaning to us. We can treasure our friendship and camaraderie each time we read the stories and remember the love and goodwill shared here. It's also a snapshot in time of where we were when the stories were written so we can look back and see how far each of us has come since then.
Let me know your thoughts!
Kim
Here's what I propose:
Take time to really think about your story and what message you want to share with the world. Write out your story as honestly and succinctly as you can. It's best if you use MS Word or a similar program so I will be able to incorporate it readily into the whole project. Take your time on this. We have no deadline. Really put your heart into your story. When you are ready to share it with me, send me a personal message and I will send you my personal email address. I will collect the stories, read them, and provide help with editing to bring the whole project together. Be sure to include your DS username, your actual first name, and then indicate what fictitious name you would prefer in the book.
When everyone has submitted his/her story, I will work with each of you to finalize it just as you want it. Then, I will compile it into one manuscript and provide each of you with a working copy for final adjustments.
While I wouldn't wish the pain of divorce on anyone, I'm very grateful to be sharing this journey with each of you.
Happy writing!!!
Kim
TM
I inquire because I have done project management and publication editing professionally, and I know how much work is involved in pulling something like this together! The logistics can get overwhelming, and then there are legal and financial issues that should be addressed.
Cowgirl is right, there are other books out there that have made use of the personal story excerpt very successfully. I'm not aware of any books that are strictly a collection of these stories, however.
I'm curious as to whether there will be an appetite for this publication style in the already dense market of separation/divorce/relationship books. If you examine this and determine that there is, then the next step (only my opinion here!) would involve scoping out the format and addressing issues such as the use of themes, editorial commentary etc.
It sounds exciting and I applaud you for your enthusiasm for taking this on! I'd be happy to be involved.
While it would be wonderful if the book were published by a known publishing house, there are also alternatives to traditional publishing that have found recent success in the changing publishing market. I know someone at Nelson Literary Agency in Denver as well as a few others who might be able to help us with that. I also have a friend who is an award winning author, and he may be able to assist as well. However, my primary aim here is not to sell a bunch of books but to help the people here on this forum to share their stories and find peace and closure. Even if we and our families and friends are the only ones to read the book, then it is already a success. If we also manage to reach a broader audience, that's fantastic - icing on the cake! I worked for many years as a paralegal doing copyright and printing work, so I'm familiar with a lot of the legal considerations. Of course, I will explore these further as the project develops. I have good friends who are attorneys, and one of them has also published two books.
It would be great if you'd like to assist with the editing. That's quite a huge undertaking and so very important for the integrity of the book. I welcome your expertise.