I never liked the family home...when we moved to size up when the boys were 6,8 and 10 he chose the home and I sort of went along...sort of the way our marriage went with most major decisions.

I was in that home for the almost one year that he emotionally tortured me with moving in, moving out, he loved me, he didn't love me. By the end, when he was gone, I was HAPPY to get out too!

Our selling story tells it all: I painted and put some new rug in and staged the house (with help from an awesome friend). It looked fabulous and we had an offer within a week. When the offer came in, the ex was nowhere to be found. Did not respond to phone calls or emails. I was FRANTIC! My sister called his colleague at work to ask where he was and he said he didn't know just that he was 'off' for the week. I then called my ex fil and he didn't know either. Finally, at the 11th hour, the ex responded to an email....where was he? In the Caribbean with his girlfriend...apparently the internet reception was not so good in paradise. He was able to provide his acceptance of the deal via email and the offer went through. Whew!

I split the house with him 50/50 but in the end took his half in lieu of long-term support. I moved to a rental for the 9 months until my youngest finished high school and then I left town (I had lost my job anyway).

I was and am lucky to have a loving supportive family, and I moved in with my parents and lived there 1.5 years. They recently sold their house and I moved into an apartment above a family business, but now THAT has been sold and I have to move again (only been here 4 months). I will be moving into a lovely little rental house on August 1st and my 22 yr old son is going to bunk in with me for the year while he finishes his final year of university.

This next move will be my 4th move in three years. It's exhausting. I sometimes see ads to adopt shelter pets and give them a 'forever home' and I think....gee, I sure would like a forever home one of these days. Soon I hope!

I had to leave my house, my cheating wife will keep it,
I'm renting, it has the upside of no upkeep which is nice in the shorterm.
And as the divorce gets sorted out it is nice to able think about what living situation I want and can afford

I'm glad you posted this topic. I've been fighting to stay in the house. But I've just VERY recently decided I don't want to. I am suddenly feeling this need to be free of any restraints.....home included. Because my future is unclear and I don't know where or what I will be doing a few months/years down the road, I've decided to let him sell the house like he's wanted to all along. It has become overwhelming to me to try and keep up with it. He's let too much go over the years and our house is a real "fixer upper" that I just don't want to deal with anymore.

While I like the security of my house....love my neighbors and neighborhood....I've come to realize that I don't want the headaches associated with owning this home. He has made it clear he will not help me in any way, so that kind of makes me want out. I can't keep up with repairs and such. Plus its too expensive for me to afford. I will struggle to make ends meet and that's really no way to live.

I've sold three of my homes by owner. I put a sign in the yard with flyers and boxed up all the clutter stuff. My home was staged beautifully and it sold in a week. You can do it but make sure you have a good title company to work with. It does save a lot of money. Good luck!

I stayed in our home during the three years of the separation/divorce process. We sold the home as part of the final divorce settlement. I had mixed feelings about selling the house. I loved it, the neighborhood, and felt familiar/comfortable there. But at the same time, the kids were grown, and it was a bit lonely, and I did not want to assume the big mortgage and upkeep. Since I don't know how long I will remain in this area, I decided to rent, not buy again. I am currently renting a very nice condo/townhome. I like it very much. It took awhile to feel like home, but now I feel very comfortable living here. No upkeep or maintenance. Getting out of the marital home with all its memories was also a help to me in the emotional healing department. It was the best decision for me and I have no regrets.

I got the house (and the mortgage) in our mediated agreement. I wanted to be here while the girls were in their last years of high school. Now they are done, but I've refinanced at a lower rate and honestly wouldn't be able to rent for less. While I do sometimes wonder if it would be better for me to be out of the house we lived in as a family, supposedly happy, for 14 years, I also know that I have great neighborhood support and feel strongly about not moving to a new community at this point. Maybe, as my neighbors move toward retirement, and make home changes with their spouses, I will also decide to relocate. At his point, I have much support nearby.

In my case, I had little choice in the matter, in terms of where to dwell. My ex threw me out of our home. After that, I certainly wanted no part of staying in that place. Way too many terrible memories. I'm very grateful to have a place of my own, albeit a rental. I got to decorate it the way I wanted with furniture I selected. The icing on the cake is that the style is all my own and something my ex would never have agreed to.

I'm with kamary on this. My home, even though it's somewhat temporary as a rental, is my safe place. It's free of emotional ghosts and memories tied to my ex. It has a far more positive energy than my home with my ex ever did. I think there is healing power in leaving behind the old and creating a fresh new start. At least when I come home after classes all day, I know that peace and quiet (well, relatively speaking. Paper thin walls, you know) await me. No drama. No arguments. No emotional abuse. Just me and my dog. I'm still torn about whether or not to buy something after I graduate and get a job. I feel like my life is in such a state of flux. I'm not sure yet where I want to settle. It's tough making some of these decisions. Sometimes you just have to step off in faith.

All the best to you!
Kim