Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
I had a rough night last night. It's funny how you can be doing good and things just hit you. I sat down last night and watched a movie about a man that finds out his dying wife had been cheating on him. It's just so funny how something like a movie can drag up so many emotions and cause you to relive all the hurt.
on top of that I had my grandaughter yesterday and was talking to her about her mom coming to town. Her mom joined the Navy a month after my son and she divorced. This poor little girl hasn"t seen her mom in over a year and only 4 times in the past 4 years. I think going through this whole divorce and feeling the sense of loss has helped me to understand somewhat better how she feels.
I think that is one thing about this hell, is that it has helped me to be more understanding of the loss that others have suffered. I don't think I ever truley understood the pain and sufferind and loneliness that som many people live with until it happened to me.
on top of that I had my grandaughter yesterday and was talking to her about her mom coming to town. Her mom joined the Navy a month after my son and she divorced. This poor little girl hasn"t seen her mom in over a year and only 4 times in the past 4 years. I think going through this whole divorce and feeling the sense of loss has helped me to understand somewhat better how she feels.
I think that is one thing about this hell, is that it has helped me to be more understanding of the loss that others have suffered. I don't think I ever truley understood the pain and sufferind and loneliness that som many people live with until it happened to me.
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I had gone to the grocery store. When I wheeled my cartback to my car I just stool there a minute. A few spacesaway a Tesla Cyber truck was parked. I had seen it on theroad a few times for a few seconds. But not close up.It looked like it belonged to 2126 and not 2026. I wasgoing to take a picture of the car but the owners cameback and drove away. It was an ordinary middle age...
I'm glad your granddaughter has you. You can play a huge part in her life filling in the holes.
Again sorry for how bad it hurt last night.
Hugs and love to you today !!!
Jenny
But rest assured, the pain will abate with time. Give yourself permission to feel all the emotions associated with it -- trying to ignore them or bury them will only make them last longer! And be gentle with yourself.
All of us are here to listen, console, cajole and do anything else we can to help you over these hurdles.
Big hugs all around you...
xoxo
as for what is like to be a child, kid, teen ... and be thrust into, my heart breaks for them
I feel so bad for all the children effected by divorce, even the adult ones don't escape. Your granddaughter is lucky to have you.
love and hugs
kamary
Like you, I had my granddaughter this weekend, she is a huge diversion for me, I thank God for her every day, she is the reason I go on, that I even try to gain back my life.
Sending you all hugs, I know these days come and go for us so hang in there, tomorrow will be brighter!!!
love and hugs
kamary
I used to describe it like waves on the ocean, at teh beginning you are being pounded and can barely stand up they are coming so fast and so hard.
Then somewhere around the three mark the waves started to spread out a little bit and I had moments of peace.
As time went on it began to be calm for days then a weeks and at times months. But then suddenly a rouge wave would come out of nowhere and take you right off your feet.
Even now I still get the odd wave that knocks me down the difference is I get right back up and the pain does't last long, sometimes its only a passing thought or a moment .
(((HUGS)
I can know listen to love songs, and watch sappy movies. What I still can't do after four years is trully be happy when I'm alone. With the kids I'm great,
I know what you mean, none of us really comprehend what loss is until we go through it, and even then, we still don't completely understand the grief of another, but we can empathize. We can relate, we can care and we can support each other until we're able to stand on our own once more.
When my daughter passed, I was blessed with many people that allowed me to tell her story over, and over and over. It's how I worked through the unthinkable. In the almost 20 years since, I've paid that forward to many, many others. I will continue to listed to others stories, to their grief, their pain, their small victories and joys.
You've welcomed me here, I listen to you, and we're all the better for it.
Thanks for being there for your granddaughter, for me, and the others here.