He wants my name off the lease and for me to return the keys in the mail. He stayed in the apartment when I had to move to Florida. He asked me for a divorce ON THE PHONE. Such a coward and left the apartment when I had to pack my things to go to my sisters. I have decided I am not going to make it any easier for him. He is going to see me when I give him those keys and I sign the paper to take my name off the lease. He is going to look me in the eye. I don't know how I am going to survive it.. I a going to shatter myself more. Couldn't sleep again last night. This time woke up at 3. Just kept replaying everything that he did to me. Replaying how his mother kept insisting that we have the separation. I used to do all of the finances. The two of THEM sat down to take notes on how he will pay the bills when I left for the so-called separation (that was really going to be a divorce once I leave.) I remember when this was all starting, he used to sleep outside on the blow up bed and the mother stayed with me on the bed in the bedroom a couple of times. One night he said he wanted to sleep in the room. I was so happy. The mother said oh, it's just because he doesn't want to hear the dog barking or when we were at the dmv, he called and she said oh, he just wanted to see how SHE alone was doing. This after 21 years together. She never liked me. Told me she would have preferred a Jewish woman for her son. But her real vitriol started when she wanted to move in with us and it didn't. She's toxic and abused my psychically and emotionally when he was a kid and even now. She loves nothing more than she has him all to herself. Throughout this ordeal all she said to him was WHAT DO YOU WANT. WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. After 21 years! She of course divorced the father and was boinking a married man when the father returned to live in the apartment because they couldn't make the finances separately. The father used to sleep on the floor outside in the living room, while she FOR YEARS brought the married man, into her bedroom. They all lived like that. This animal, who has thrown me out, never appreciated that I never cheated on him and remained faithful and put the marriage first. It's this woman, this witch, that is responsible for so much of the break down of this marriage. Though it's not her fault, HE CHOSE TO DO THIS. There is no justice. But SHE IS AS MONEY HUNGRY as he is, so it will eat her alive if I get a dime.
Last night I had so many nightmares and dreams about him and the marriage..It's like now the torture is really beginning. At least since this all started I was able to sleep. Now even that is taken from me. I wake up with all of those memories and my stomach full of knots and that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. THIS IS HOW I FEEL ALL THE TIME. I don't know what good it will do to demand he come and face me and get the keys. I am in so much pain. If he wants a divorce so badly, why can't he face me? COWARD!