You totally did the right thing...not contacting your ex. For some of us, it's just the fact that we know if we DO have any contact with our ex, it will just end up being an argument. At least it is for me. We have very different parenting styles. Mine was to make my kids GROW UP once they reached early 20's and his was to pay for everything and enable them. The last time we had contact was when my DD27 landed in jail. My daughter called ME of course expecting me to bail her out which of course I didn't do. Due to the fact my alimony went away due to her father getting fired and deciding never to work again, I told her to stay in jail and think about what she'd done. But, I thought this was a big enough thing that her father should know, so I called him. My daughters always came to me first with their problems, so I felt I should tell the ex that I had refused to bail her out and hoped he'd do the same. He actually did.

However, the next morning, he texted me asking me if I'd heard from our daughter which I hadn't. He then replied, "Well, I hope you'll help her and do what's right." EXCUSE ME?? She was like 23 at the time. Did I put drug paraphanalia in her car?? Um...no. I knew what he was driving at...helping her with legal fees. Actually, maybe I would have helped SOME had I still been getting alimony, but noooo...he got fired from his good paying job the year he left me and hasn't worked since. Instead he married his mistress who has a good job and has supported him for the last 7 years. Anyway, I replied, "Since you helped DD29 out of 2 DUI's, I will assume you'll do the same for THIS daughter." He didn't reply. :) Oh...and yes...he paid for her lawyer.
On a side note...this same daughter got into credit card trouble 3 years ago and came to me with it. I helped her write a letter to the credit card company saying she could pay $100 a month and was that ok? The letter back from the credit card company went to her father's house and he said that was BS and paid it off for her. So, see what I mean?? Daddy will always be my daughters' white knight and I'm just a piece of s***. I think, however, my daughters understood that their father was the money maker in the family, not me...so it is still his job (if he chooses) to help them.
I am now married to a man with a spine who has helped his kids out when necessary, but has also kicked them out of the house when needed (drugs).
So...no contact just works better for some than others. Who needs THAT kind of conflict in their lives. NOT ME!

julchur:
If the X paying half of those appliance replacements was spelled out in your agreement and you chose NOT to pursue it, then you really can't complain. In my case, the X KNEW that he better follow the terms of our agreement TO THE LETTER or I would have his sorry ass back in court so fast his head would fly off -- AND it was written into the agreement that if that happened, he would be liable for all of MY legal fees and court costs associated with such an action.

As far as this computer stuff, you were smart to just go with a new one than to try to fix up the old one. Registration and serial numbers aside, the technology and software changes so quickly, you would end up having to replace it sooner or later anyway.

I hear your frustration with your X taking the documentation and stuff. It seems they always find SOMETHING to try to jerk our chains about. Mine took all the paperwork for all the improvements we had done on the farm in the previous 19 years and although my attorney and I asked for it repeatedly, he never turned it over. I finally stopped pursuing it because I knew he was just being a jerk and I was tired of dealing with him.

Your boyfriend not being happy about the new computer raised a red flag for me. He isn't the boss of you! Take a stand and let his remarks go in one ear and out the other. Unless he's paying the bills, his opinion is not needed.

Hang in there, kiddo. It does get better and you just have to bury the past and keep moving forward. xoxo

I was divorced Dec 11, 2007. By the end of Dec he sent in the papers so I could pay for Cobra health insurance. I had two months to qualify. Apparently after 6 weeks benefits told me the date of our divorce. He had backed it up to March and I finally got that fixed. My Atty was ready to get involved.

He caused me problems at our bank that I had to correct.

He caused me problems with our daughter. Three years to get her back in my life.

He reduced or quit paying my alimony three times. He got our daughter involved in that too.

There were many more things he did. He was very angry at me even though I left because of his bigamy. I know for a fact that he had planned on staying overseas, chasing all the women he could get and coming home to me when he got ready to settle down. He planned on helping me with the farm. He was already dumping the woman he married overseas. He managed to pick back up with her and brought her into the U S.

So I wrecked his plans and he turned vindictive. Every time he played with my alimony I had huge repairs and replacements here at the house. New hot water heater, a second well for the farm, a new roof on the house, new refrigerator and freezer. I must not forget about the new expensive vacuum cleaner.

Some exes are just angry and vindictive. Some have other reasons to try to cause harm. Who wants to pay for something or someone who is no longer in their life.

It does get better. I haven't talked to the ex since before the last hearing. My life is now peaceful and very quiet.

EX's are good at reminding us why they are EX's.

Totally agree Misred! Especially after hearing my ex's speech at my DD29's wedding rehearsal dinner. ICK

Man, are you better off without your ex or not? You're so lucky you're not with him any more.

He's done the wrong thing not keeping his end of the bargain. You could take him to court for the money, but it sounds like you don't want the angst.

I think you're doing the right thing. Forget about the ex, go fully no contact and make your own decisions. Unless your new bf lives with you and you are sharing all expenses, he doesn't get a say. He can advise but it's not his decision to make.

I choose no contact with my ex because he's not to be trusted to be kind or fair. He wasn't my friend for long years before I decided to leave our marriage, and he will never be my friend. If we didn't have kids together and grandkids now, I wouldn't see him at all. I kept some insurance policies he took out in my name but I couldn't even stand having that connection, so have cancelled the policies. I didn't really need them and it feels wonderful not to have any reason to be in touch with him other than for odd family reasons.

I don't know how people have great relationships with their exes. It's a mystery to me.

love and hugs
kamary

I didn't go after him in court because that is what he wanted me to do. He wanted everyone to know what a b**** I was, and he was Mr. good guy. He had my daughter plant fake blank disc's to replace the disc's taken. You don't think I know my daughter's handwriting versus the computer guy? My first clue as to these bogus disc's was she recreated a disc I destroyed before the divorce. I had made my ex a love song disc, trying to ignite the passion we once had. He never listened to it, so I shredded it.

I recently shredded some letters the EX sent me while he was in rehab. It felt great!

I am being painter a villianess because I am insisting on half of our home. I did leave my home and some say I left my life style voluntary.
I want to give up grapevine harrasment. I only want what's fair and to live in peace. I thought my children and his sister would stay out of this. My daughter is my rock. Thank God!

At least me ex let me keep my home. It was my home from 12 on and off, and was inherited to me. Ex hated that I wouldn't put him on the deed. He could have claimed 1/2 because we were forced to switch our loan from our rental property to the house. I did have to pay off the loan, but I love my home.

Sandivan, you're entitled to at least half. Don't let the grapevine get to you. You chose to leave an unhappy situation, not a lifestyle.

Julchr, I'm glad you have your childhood home. Thank goodness you didn't put him on the deed. However, in Australia, the law gives us half of everything no matter whose name it's in, so it doesn't matter whose name is on the deed when it all boils down. I had inheritance money invested in my name only because my ex insisted on it at the time. I got that investment but it meant I had to give him half of the value in the settlement.

love and hugs
kamary

Your better off with something new anyway. Nice new laptop - awesome. Good luck with it. If you really want to keep the old one - you can wipe everything out without "passwords" and restart fresh. They just clean it all off. But computers are "throw away" at this point. So much trash gets loaded and spyware, viruses - your much better off replacing it with something new. Unless it's a mac. If it's a mac - bring it and have it wiped out - you'll be happy.

I just read one of your replies and you did not want to be considered a "B". Well, honey, I made sure that I did not make a liar out of them. I was and still am the biggest B on this side of creation. I have to live up to their expectations. Besides, I do not care what people say about me. When someone talks like that about others, they are describing themselves. So smile and be happy. Do and so go where you want to.

@knuckle...my dad used to say when we were being talked about someone else was getting a rest from all the gossip being spread.